For those of you who didn't understand, let me provide a helpful translation of this Tort-ism:
"Overwhelmed by my crushing attractiveness, I am swarmed by ranks of lewd women after they are captivated by my unbelievable physique. However, exercising the greatest of moral restraint, I have torn myself away from the iron grip of these sex-crazed harpies and seen them for what they truly are.
Listen, comerades, as I tell you my woeful tale: I have judged that this particular group of females in my are naught but harlots, and thus I have cleverly determined that ALL women, are, indeed, sexually promiscuous, unfaithful, and ugly things which should be avoided at all costs for their hurtful practice of dumping their problems on a nice guy like me without showing any interest whatsoever in carrying on a relationship (which, by the way, I would never do with one of these horrible, horrible people of an inferior gender).
So, in short:
Avoid women who won't date nice guys like me."
You're welcome.