Alright, suppose I will get in on the game with this one:
Woman standing in front of the mirror, she says to her husband "I would like bigger breasts". The husband states she should run a sheet of toilet paper between them each morning and evening. When asked if that would work he's says it worked on her ass..

You reminded me of a joke I heard from an Irish guy.

-Do you know what is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
-There is one less drunk at the wake.

Also, I know a couple about lawyers, I think I heard them in a movie:

-Do you know what is the difference between a whore and a lawyer?
-The whore stops screwing you when you're dead.

-Do you know how you can understand when lawyers are lying?
-They move their lips.

Holy shit, i can't, i jus't can't.... :'D

This guy walks into a bar and starts to tell a joke.
"There's this dumb Polak.."
The bartender interrupts
"Buddy let me stop you. I'm a Polak. Those two guys by the jukebox are Polaks. The gang of 5 bikers in the back there are Polaks. That giant man with the scarred face who bounces for me is a Polak. Are you really sure you wanna tell this joke?"
The man sighs.
"I guess not. I really don't feel like explaining it 9 times."

What do you call it, when one person drowns? - A tragedy.

What do you call it, when 10.000 lawyers drown? - A good start!

What's the difference between a pig laying dead in the road and a lawyer laying dead in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the pig.

And BTW both my grandparents were lawyers so I don't want any of this 'I'm a lawyer and I'm offended' crap! :P

This one is old, referring to a school bus full of children going over a cliff is a tragedy whereas a bus full of lawyers is a good start. Never gets old.

Here's one that I remember. (Note that this joke predates the spread of same sex marriage laws.)

A man and his father are in a train accident. The father does not survive, and the son is sent to the hospital. The nurse comes in, sees the son, and then calls for the surgeon. The surgeon arrives and says:

"I can't operate on this man. He's my son."

Edit: Replace "him" with "this man" in last sentence.

this made me lol a lot :D

Since mathematics is a universal language:
Girls are like square roots, if they are under 16 you are better off doing them in your head.

Ha ha. Good one! Curiously, it works in Polish too (marriage = małżeństwo):

_Do you know what małżeństwo stands for?
_A spierdalaj, panie!

And my favourite father-son joke:

_ Daddy.
...
_ Daddy!
...
_ DADDY!!!!!
_ *sigh* What is it, son?
_ Does "ignoring" and "ignorant" mean the same thing?
_ I don't know.

I know a lawyer and I'm not offended.