Once upon a time there was a little mouse named Harriet. She had lovely long whiskers, coal-black eyes that shone like diamonds and a long tail that curled like a question mark. The apartment where she lived was warm and cozy, and situated in a wall inside a baker's shop. She had two good friends, Cayde, a large white raven and Bonnet, the doberman that lived with the Butcher next door.
One day....
They were all zapped with the deus ex machina gun because I hate writing furry stories, and turned into humans. Harriet became a 35 year old "girl" with an ambiton to take over the world, of course. Cayde became a hobo, and Bonnet became the butcher's mistress.
On yet another day,They all ran around a tree, Benny Hill style, because the butcher thought Bonnet was having an affair with Cayde and Harriet was trying to ransom him for adultery to get free food to feed her future new world orderish army. The butcher tripped and fell on his own knife.In his dying breath, he told Harriet that he was her father! "But how was that even possible?!?!", screeched Harriet. Also Bonnet was Harriet's mother. "But I'm a pure maiden!", protested Bonnet. Nobody cared what she said. Just then Cayde jumped on a roof, ninja style, in a puff of smoke, and morphed into Gandalf the techicolored.
Cayde: "Fools be y'all. It was all me!"
And thus everyone in the story became Cayde but with different bodies.
Cayde: "It's MAGIK! I don't have to explain shit. Are you with me , or are you my enema?"
Everyone nodded at each other and drank koolaid.
And that is the end.
Post edited September 25, 2015 by dick1982