HypersomniacLive: I'm not really doing anything special for her, just being a friend. She's the one that has to do all the hard work.
You would be surprised how much difference a good friend by someone's side can make. I know when I was on life support after getting attacked, it meant to much to me to have people there with me. I'm sure your friend gets a lot of strength in knowing that she has people there for her, even if they feel there is little they can do.
I mentioned before that I do some volunteering work now and then, usually with the elderly or a children's hospice in a near by town. When I first started going to the hospice, it broke my heart. It's a hospice for terminally ill children, with illness ranging from heart problems, cancers, accidents, rare conditions, etc. But all of them are terminal cases, with little to no chance of them getting better. I both hate and love going there. I hate seeing children in such conditions, I won't lie, I used to have a little cry when I get home at first, because seeing them like that just breaks my heart. But I love seeing them happy while I read to them, or play with them. After my second visit I was going to stop, the emotional side of it was a bit too much for me, especially as I had started it not long after my grandmother died of a quite nasty illness. The thing that made me stay was when a mother followed me out on that second visit and thanked me for been there and interacting with her daughter, for not looking at her like she was different, just because of all the tubes and her illness. For treating her like a normal little girl, and for taking the time to read one of her favourite books, complete with silly voices. She said she loved seeing her daughters face light up as we read a book, Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. She told me that since my first visit, her daughter had started to liven up, to come out of her shell a little.
We never got to finish the book, sadly, as she died a few weeks later. But knowing that I could help and have such a positive effect on someone, just by being there for them, I decided to keep going. I have been going for a few years now, and it still upsets me so much, it's so unfair to see such sweet kids have to suffer. Especially when you see the hope in there eyes or they ask you if they will be okay. That's one of the hardest questions they ask. How am I supposed to answer that, knowing they are in the hospice for a reason, they are in there to make their last few days/weeks/months comfortable, or at least as comfortable as possible. Luckily there parents are usually there, so I don't have to try to answer, but sometimes I have had to say something, which is never nice. I lie, of course, a while lie. I tell them that there is always hope, that the body is a wonderful thing and that people can make wonderful progress with their recovery. Which is true, a few of the children there have gotten better, despite their prognosis saying otherwise. But sadly most are not that lucky. I have gotten a lot better at not being too emotional in front of the children, it only upsets them. But I will keep going, despite how it usually upsets me to see them like that. As long as I know that me being there, even for a few hours now and then, makes a little difference to them, then I will carry on doing it for as long as I can.
Sorry for rambling on, I never intended to talk so much. But please just remember that you are probably being more helpful than you realise, just by being a friend for her.