CarrionCrow: Maybe it's the time of year, maybe it's the alcohol I should be consuming more of, but right now? I'm feeling a bit nostalgic.
Memories of people I used to know once upon a time and several lives ago are materializing unbidden into my mind.
And as this happens, I think to myself - I kinda sorta hope they all died.
Not necessarily violently or brutally or painfully or even hilariously, like their toilet somehow exploding while they're sitting on it, murdering them with a shower of razor-sharp porcelain ass shrapnel that causes them to leak out streams of blood, shit and shredded intestine before they go on to realize their ultimate potential in this world as human fertilizer.
Won't get my hopes up that high. Haven't ever considered myself that lucky of a person, overall.
But the thought remains.
I hope their houses caught fire due to faulty holiday lights and they were trapped inside while the local fire department got the address wrong and drove to the other side of town.
I hope they were attacked by rabid dogs with extremely sharp teeth and a penchant for inflicting hideous groin injury.
I hope they were gunned down by stray bullets fired into the churches they went to in order to beg forgiveness for being throbbing infected boils on the pasty sphincter of humanity, so that after they die people can make jokes about how praying didn't keep them from getting their brains blasted all over the pews.
I'm not typically an intensely optimistic person. But holy fucking hell do I hope for these things.
In this moment, in this instant of time, i hope, I hope, I hope.
Fingers crossed, voice to the heavens, I hope with all my heart and soul.
I've been looking through online obituaries just in case, and while I haven't turned up any names yet, this is still one thing I'm willing to remain hopeful about. Because I fucking hate them and wish they would die, if they haven't already.
God, if you're out there....hell, if ANY god is out there....in this moment, please hear my cry and kill them. All of them. Preferably with that exploding toilet idea I mentioned. Simultaneously. While someone gets it all on video and posts it to Youtube.
And yes, I know this is a prayer, something I typically never do. But I'm doing so now.
Who'd have thought.....me, getting religious on Christmas. It truly is a miracle. ;)
P.S. - Kill the flying reindeer too. I know they don't exist, because I'm not brain-damaged, but I really like the image of one plummeting to the earth, through someone's skylight so it lands in the middle of their dinner if at all possible.
Not the reindeer.