My entire life just flashed before my eyes.

I cast The Sound of Silence at dtgr— I mean, the next player.

That explains what was happening when I last played Mini-Ninjas, the game ran fine but with no sound save for the main menu.

I cast Punishment on the next user.

You do realize that a bassoon is actually pretty large, bigger than a tyipcal sword and probably bigger than a mini-gun/ (As in, it would be more like a full gun.)


Seems I don't have a pun handy right now, so it doesn't actually do anything, except that, as I have the Blue Mage's ability to learn spells, I learn that spell.

I cast "pun"-ishment on the next user.

Actually, a minigun (at least without the hyphen) is a rather oomphy weapon and a lot bigger than it sounds.
I feel compelled to cast another Uranus spell, this time I target the next user with the lesser known 'Does Uranus look big in this' incantation.

The bassoon is actually 8 feet of tubing (and to play the low B-flat, your air needs to carry through all 8 of those feet).

(I note that your sword doesn't seem that much heavier than the bassoon, and that's with the bassoon not being as dense due to being made of wood (or plastic, if it's a "cheap" model) and hollow.)

The sky goes dark, burning clouds appear overhead, and fire rains from the heavens. It's quite the storm, and the fire and lightning cause a lot of damage that takes a while (and a lot of money) to recover from.

I take out a piccolo and play a really high note into the ear of the next user.

The note induces a hallucination of Piccolo offering me a peace-pipe. I say, "No thanks, I prefer grass." and bite Zoro's head.

I cast Choking Sand on the next user.

I *cough* don't like sand. It's *gasp* coarse and *choke* rough and irrit- *cough* -ating and it... *sustained coughing* gets everywhere.

Which is why *gasp* I cast Pocket Sand on *clears throat* whoever's closest.

Pocket Sand turns to glass when it comes in contact with my immolation aura :P. I now feel like the rose kept under a glass lid in Beauty and the Beast.

On the next victim, I cast the spell I am most proficient at: "Sadness VII"!

Well, as usual, once you cast the spell, things happen, but those things are of no consequence, just like most of the things in Progress Quest. (I believe Strength at least does something, but I don't think the other attributes have any effect.)

I choose an element from the empty set and hurl it at the next user.

Or, alternatively, I throw a proper subset of the empty set at the next user. (A subset is a proper subset if it's not the entire set.)

I dodge that spell, as the only parts of the empty set that seems to make sense to a non-mathematician are the brackets, and I refuse to be bracketed.

I curse the next user with algebra.

I can't help it, all my math is written with the opposite symbols that I intend, so - becomes +, x becomes %, and vice-versa for both.

I cast Emperor's Command at the next user.

Seems that, for whatever reason, that spell only works on men, and therefore it does not work on me.

I reach into an empty bag, pull out something from it, and throw it at the next user.

I catch the inside-out empty bag and keep my dice in it.

I cast Tale of the Old Turtle on the next user.

The inside-out bag has caused the spell, too, to be inverted, so I find myself in a turtle-casting Mario Cart session.

I call down heavenly pepperoni on the next user.