Oh, well. It is apparent that this spell was cast while eating potato chips and watching TV. Its sloppy execution has given me a hard time getting rid of a certain British band following me around every corner.

I cast the Rim of Uranus on the next user. I wouldn't want to be around when this one hits.

Having survived the bombardment of blue Lego blocks smelling like rotten eggs sheltered by an umbrella theory of precipitation, I cast the spell of Saturnalia on the next user.

The planet Saturn collides into Earth, destroying it.

Then, somehow, Earth reassembles itself through some massive quantum coincidence (an event that's so improbable that the chance of it having happened during the universe's lifetime rounds to 0), so I can cast the next spell.

I cast the spell of Plutonia on the next user.

Now whenever I play Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, the dog who demands a bone before he digs for the other characters resembles Pluto the dog from old Disney cartoons.

I cast Explore on the next user.

(Also Saturn has no solid parts, we would just splat on the noxious pudding core and the only re-assembly Earth would need when emerging from the other side is restoring all the ecosystems, ocean, and atmosphere.)

I boldly went where no one had gone before.

For which I was arrested for indecent exposure.

In retaliation, I cast Split Infinitive on the person who reported me.

To seemingly be unaffected by the split infinitive spell.

If only I were able to cast the Subjunctive spell on the next user...

I wish I were able to stop you.

But since we seem to have found our way into moods, I hereby cast Big Mood upon this entire thread.

With the Big Mood spell over-taking me, I cast Meteor on the next user's nearest city.

Quite predictably, the meteor burns up in the atmosphere long before it reaches my nearest city, doing 0 damage.

I cast the spell of 555 on the next user. Note that the intonation of the spell will affect its execution, as 555 in Thai denotes laughter, while in Chinese, it denotes crying. Not adept at intonation, I do not know the outcome of this spell.

Predictably, you mispronounce the spell badly enough that you instead cast the spell 666, which summons the beast that bears said mark. Of course, it is unclear what abilities said beast has, but fortunately it was summoned inside the ground, where it can do no harm, except maybe being able to give a high five. (So, a bit of the original intended spell remains.)

I fire a number of needles equal to the second smallest even prime at the next user.

I don't even bother dodging the nonexistent needles, while laughing in Collatz conjecture.

But since we appeared to have entered maths territory, i (not a typo) start bemoaning that "it's complex" at the person who sits down next to me.

I get confused about whether i *am* the square root of -1, or i *is* the square root of -1.

(Also, which one? There are two of them.)

I cast Summon Oboe at the next user.

In my mind, there's the picture of Katrina, the shepherd from the Ultima series, herding sheep.

I cast Summon Bassoon on the next user.

The next time I open my closet, I find that one of my swords has transformed into a mini-gun made to look like a bassoon.

I cast Failed Experiment on the next user.