The ball lands on a metal slime that just happened to be there, and somehow scores a critical hit, causing it to explode into a bunch of experience points.

The actual reading on the 8-ball is, as it turns out, "better not tell you now". Of course, it isn't easy to read it, as it is covered in metallic goo.

I cast Polymorph Into Metal Slime on the next user.

I changed into a Metal Slime. Suddenly A Hero appears! I ran away. No experience points or gold gained.

I cast The Metamorphosis by Kafka on the next user.

Congratulations,The Metamorphosis by Kafka made me watch the first 4 episodes of Lexx.
All hail the GigaShadow.

I cast the spell "Enhanced Taste" on the next user.

I already had exceptionally good taste for all the finest things in life. With my further-enhanced taste the only thing I can appreciate is the grace and beauty of the movement of sub-atomic particles. I constantly criticise everything else in existence and end up getting pushed off a cliff by my friends.

It gives me and idea for a spell: Moonjump.

I am not a moon; therefore the spell doesn't work on me.

I am not standing on a moon; therefore the spell does not work on the planet I am on.

Hence, while your idea was interesting, it unfortunately doesn't apply in this instance.

I cast the "Curse of Cisphobia" on the next user. (Try to respond to this one without using the word "trans" or any word that starts with it, so no using the word "transportation", for example.)

"Cisphobia" sounds the same as "Sisphobia", so I revert back to my days of youth, when I had reason to fear my oldest sis. She could whup some butt, that's for sure!

Ah, being young again! Knowing what I do now, I try to do things differently. Alas, it does not work: we ARE creatures of habit, after all.

Out of frustration, Extremely Limited Wish is cast.

It appears that your spell is *extremely* limited; as a result, the wish must be chosen from the empty set, or the spell fizzles. Of course, choosing the wish from the empty set is impossible, so no wish can be made.

I cast Summon Cisportation Device.

A cistern suddenly appears. Really confusing and distracting but that's life for you: cisterns randomly appearing all the time.

I cast the spell "Protection versus ice-cube trays" on the next user.

Well, the spell works, but it doesn't do much, since ice trays are generally not dangerous.

Actually, at one point I open an unfamiliar freezer and the ice tray gets knocked out, hitting me. I am unhurt thanks to that spell.

I cast Cisfer Magic on the next user.

The spell was miscast and rebounds onto dtgreene with whatever outcome and moral standpoint dtgreene was trying to make.

Meanwhile, everyone else moves on, and I cast the spell "Over-abundance of Weasels" onto the next user.

Dozens of weasels flock to me; but since I'm adept at dealing with even the most dangerous animals, I easily catch them all, put them in a great sack and take them to the tanner...a few days later I get a magnificent coat stitched together from weasel pelts. Everybody admires me, and weasel pelt coats become a new fashion trend, despite the whining of PETA and other animal rights activists.

I cast "Complete honesty" on the next user.

Actually, due to the nature of the spell:
* I am pretty sure it can't rebound off another target, as I believe it is self only (despite me trying to cast it on another).
* I don't think it has any net effect when cast on the self anyway.
* No moral standpoint intended by that spell name.

Oh dear, it appears that Monsieure Goodfortune, the one who kidnapped Achilles and the Tortoise, is about to kidnap me. Guess I'll just read a book. (For those who don't understand this, this is a reference to the book Godel, Escher, Bach (by Douglas Hofstadter), specifically the doalog called Little Harmonic Labyrinth, in which there's a lot of nested stories, as well as some other amuzing events, one of which is indescribable.)

The book, of course, is about me casting a strange spell, effects unknown, called "Improved Cisition", on the next poster.

"Improved Cisition", like the rest of the gender stuff, flies over my head. It hits a tree in the yard, and the tree sprouts nuts even though it's wintertime.

I cast Lucky Break.

I have Lucky Break that that tree has being hit by previous spell and not me because I would have gone nuts :)

I cast the Real Life Musical spell. It is not permanent. Next person has to sing for five days without ordinary talk, typing, or sign language except to write your experience on this forum. If you are stranded somewhere desolate... you have to sing to animals, plants or mirage. This should be funny. :)