Right, Baldurs Gate is a two part, and whilst you can play just part 1 you do miss most of the story. The first is a bit more like a prolog. It is good in its own right, but if it was just that then I would suggest IWD. If you want the full experience, play BG1 + BG2 using big world setup which is a large mods combining many npcs, quests, updated AI etc, which really expands everything and there are three options on how difficult you want it. I believe it also works now for the “enhanced” versions, but I would ditch spear of PC’ness as the original story does not need it. 2 is a lot more dialog, and is huge though.
IWD as mentioned is far more combat oriented, from memory as it’s a while since I played it, I found it just to be map after map you had to fight through. It’s not bad though. IWD2 seems weaker to me.
I wouldn’t call either of them action orientated though. They can be played strategically, with pause, and you can solo with some experience, but neither is going to be anything like DDogma. Also it depends on time you want to put in, the full BG experience with the mod I mentioned can take 10’s of hours, if you solo it would be longer. IWD is much shorter.
Leroux: The Icewind Dale series is more linear and has the weaker stories, it's more focused on the combat than great plot or free exploration but if you enjoyed BG: Dark Alliance, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. BG:DA is closer to IWD than BG.
For me, the main draw in IWD was that you can create your own party - it is completely up to you how your party is built, and you yourself can decide on how who they are, how they look and act, but that also means most of it is left to your own imagination. Whereas in Baldur's Gate, you only create one character and this character has a vague backstory and destiny already, and then you meet other characters along the way that can join your party, and they already have fixed classes and backstories and may flirt or bicker among each other or with you. So if you don't like dialogues and want to focus on the tactics of combat, IWD would probably be the better choice, since in BG you also have to talk to the companions and listen to their stories, while in IWD they are silent (because you made them), and while you can fully control your whole party in both games, IWD gives you even more control by letting you decide about their classes etc. If you want e.g. three mages in the party, you don't have to go on a long, long journey around the world until you find some standing around somewhere waiting for you to pick them up, you can just create them right at the start.
My personal favorite of all four games is BG2, because IMO it has the most interesting storytelling and quests, but then again, I like Planescape: Torment even better, and that is probably the worst choice for someone who does not like dialogue-heavy isometric RPGs. ;P If you prefer fighting to talking, go with the IWD series, and if there is still too much talking for your taste, just skip it, you won't really miss that much. ;)
You can create your own party in BG also. Create a LAN game, then create each of the characters you want and start it (it’s just a local game), and you then have as many of the characters you want. The story is setup of course for one main protagonist, so whichever you create in slot 1, that is intrinsic. Also, if you create all your party you do miss npc side quests which may not be an issue as you will likely max out anyways. You could create 4 characters, then drag one npc around for their side quest and drop them of course.
