That I'd hurt my neck if I kept trying to get my face to reach my lap?

Here is some clues

http://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/zeo-gold-30-p-longevity-plus.html

No, no actually, but that is what I told my cousin Walter before he died.

Well, yes, it's a joke. Though we may disagree on how amusing it is. In any case, it's provided me with some amusement, so at least so far so good.

Every time you want some amusement poor little Smurfette gets nervous!

I'll give her 5 rep, if you know what I mean.



Wait, what do I mean?

Be careful when looking for authentic zeogold. You might get excited until you realize you only found fool's zeogold.

I have to admit, I'm loving this thread. Ah, but that's one with an uppercase Z. Not what the OP is looking for. ....'cause you might just get arrested! I love how Tauto shows up just an hour after you said that.
Stay puzzly, my friends.
"The zeolite used in this product is formed in the petrified bubbles of volcanic rock."
That's just the lite version, not the gold edition, I'm afraid.

I dunno. I said the same thing about Bigfoot until I learned tinyE's shoe size.

Yeah, I'm a size 8! :P

Yeah, they keep trying to escape. I gotta keep huntin' 'em down.
No idea what they could be fleeing from, though.
...
Maybe if I showered.
...those are basically the same thing, really.
You mean you can shapeshift your feet using your powers of The Odd Ones?!
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/95SYdjRVCR0/mqdefault.jpg

Hmm...looks like zeogold.
Sounds like zeogold.
Even smells like zeogold.

But how do I know you're the real zeogold?

I'm more handsome, that's how.