Buy a disco ball and duct tape a bunch of laser pointers onto it.

That, or just wrap up an empty box. My cat adores empty boxes and wrapping paper.

"Soon, human, you will know the name of fear: Fluffles."

Honestly, I'll buy her favorite treat, do the disco laser for kicks, buy her a toy or two and lots of hugs and kisses..... so cute.

How to fix? Take her to the vet. Kind of an odd birthday present, but whatever floats your boat...

Happy belated birthday to you and your lovely cat!  :-D

Give her a big hug and I'm sure she'll forgive you, but if you love gadgets, here are some suggestions...

 
▪  <span class="bold">Cat Whack a Mole</span>   ( $9.99 )

   ○  Bring the arcade home to Kitty
   ○  Kill the mouse when it pops up
   ○  Tickets and cheap prizes not included
 
 
 ▪  <span class="bold">Supercat Catnip Cave</span>   ( $5.99 )
 
   ○  Cat interaction with bag releases catnip
   ○  Nano technology provides for long-lasting scent
   ○  ThinkGeek is not responsible for cat's behavior!
 
 
 ▪  <span class="bold">Star Trek Captain's Chair Pet Bed</span>   ( $79.99 )

   ○  Captain's Chair Pet Bed for fans of ST:TOS
   ○  Features embroidered controls on the "arm"rests
   ○  Perfect for dogs, cats, small humans....
 
 

Great suggestions everyone! It is a shame that I cannot choose multiple "winners" but I have to choose the outfit that Emachine9643 suggested, as that is the most creative gift that I have seen for a cat. It is very fitting for Coca as she is quite a demonic thing at times. She, like me, has only half a mouthful full of teeth, which is a relief when she gets a bit aggro when playing as she can no longer bite me properly but she has razor sharp claws.

Now even though I am selecting that answer as the "winner" (for creativity) it isn't something that I can actually get. Next pay I will get her a tasty treat, and in the meantime I will make her a new toy (yes I no longer have money living alone). That Whack-a-Mole is something she would absolutely love. She might be my oldest cat (11, I adopted her when she was 7 and found out we shared the same birthday) but she is the most playful, so a new toy will be something she will love. Unfortunately not a single cat I've ever had has been attracted to catnip (it is a genetic thing).

Thanks again everyone for humouring me :)

Edit: and yes she loves boxes and wrapping paper too. A box is like the best invention ever for a cat, or anything that they can squeeze into. I am thinking of modifying the cat furniture that my friend and I made to make it a lot more interesting for all of the cats, i.e. add carpet to it, scratching post (as the wood is getting scratched), cut holes to make it more of a piece of jungle equipment, etc. I only just saw the pictures you linked and love the turntable! One of the first things I noticed about her was that she appeared to have a very high tolerance for loud dance music. She was abandoned as the people who owned her had teenagers, and when the kids moved out, they moved interstate to an apartment and dumped her.

She dont even know what day it is.
Buy her a treat and say sorry to her.
Happy birthday to her.
Its a good thing that you take good care of her.

Yes I have that in common with her (not knowing what day it is) :P

This.

Also wear throat protection while you sleep for the next couple weeks.

I hate those people who treat their pets as garbage bags.  To me, they're part of the family and I will never abandon my cat, no matter what happens!  I'm glad your cat has finally found a good home, and someone who takes care of her (you).

By the way, that turntable exists and costs $25.25 on <span class="bold">Amazon</span>.

The cats allow me a small space on my er their bed. There's 3 of them and one is 20lbs of muscle. Coca is the little kitty but guards me fiercely. The others aren't allow near (she'll snap at them like a turtle even though they are huge compared to her) when she wants cuddle time.

I don't understand it either. It is the equivalent (to me) of moving and leaving a dependent child behind or dumping it in an orphanage. Unfortunately that turn-table doesn't exist on Amazon Australia, and my account could be compromised (ie I get in trouble) if US Amazon realises that I don't live in a McDonalds in Colorado as I say I do (for digital game purchases). My dj friends would be in fits of laughter if they saw that turn-table :)

Having a pet is like having a child.
Its a responsible job.
They are not some toys.
I have seen a couple who bought a puppy before their marriage during their relationship. When they had their own kids they simply dumped their pet in middle of no where.
There should be strict law for such inhuman behaviour.

Animal welfare laws are seriously lacking in Australia. I'm unsure what it is like in the rest of the world but here people get away with atrocious crimes. If someone harmed one of my companions, I'd most likely be going to jail.

My cats are spoiled rotten. I spend more on looking after them than I do on my own food. They keep me grounded, show me never-ending love, and remind me that no matter how poorly I think of the human world at times (when in negative moods), I'm blessed to have a great connection with the animal world, and not just with cats :)

I also feed the neighbour's cats - 2 cats and 2 kittens. The kittens come into my house almost daily, much to the disdain of my cats (who are slowly getting used to them).