Could it not be just a question of putting too much of it? Did you check the instructions for your particular paste? What's a good amount for one might be too little/too much for another.

Anyway, to answer your question: I use Arctic Silver ceramic on both my laptop and desktop. Does its job.

I was also thinking the OP is maybe using too much. The stuff shouldn't "spill" like that. I used an amount no bigger than a grain of rice, and my CPU stays nice and chilly while playing Witcher III.

Arctic Silver Céramique 2 is what I used last time.

First clean the residue of old paste.
Then apply gold or silver or carbon thermal compound.
If CPU/GPU is SQUARE then apply paste as a drop of size of pea in middle of it (Just enough so that it will be in contact with conductor AND will not spill out).
If it's RECTANGLE then apply in middle (with some clearance on sides) as a Line (Just enough so that it will be in contact with conductor AND will not spill out).

Its not just that it spills out, the metal becomes exposed

I thought you love GOLD.

It sounds like your notebook either came with too much TIM applied, or you applied too much when you reapplied it. If it's squeezing out the sides, there's definitely too much.

Arctic Silver has a good series of information guides on how to best apply thermal paste; if you've got a laptop with an Intel mobile CPU, they recommend thinly spreading it out over the metallic surface of the CPU. As for GPUs I've read that the traditional "pea-shaped glob that's the size of a grain of rice" method used for desktop CPUs is best.

And as for thermal paste itself, pretty much any brand from a reputable vendor will do these days. There are of course the old standbys like AS5 and Arctic Ceramique.

Ive been looking at how to apply thermal paste. All the guides seem to expose part of the metal on the cpu, is this not dangerous? I spread a thin layer evenly as per the instructions. What about the gpu, is it safe to add a small amount and leave part of the metal exposed?

What about thermal pads on the memory modules. Do i need to replace these?

What do you mean by 'leaving the metal exposed'?

The cpu / gpu where you apply the paste. So guides where they put a blob in the centre, it spreads in a circle so the metal corners of the cpu / gpu have no paste as all

Am I going to have to be the jerk?

I'm surprised I'm the first one to tell you if it were me, I'd probably just stop playing the game before I fried my PC.

Unless you were looking for a new laptop anyway I think I'd realize the game was too taxing and quit while I'm ahead. In the very least, back up any important data you have on the thing because you're heading for a meltdown sooner rather than later and who knows what your CPU / GPU is going to take with it.