Very likely the last report/compilation before the proof-read is finally finished and the edited/corrected script is sent off to the ZA/UM folks at the beginning of January. Still am short about a 1000 lines from completion, which should be more than doable over the holidays.
Right. You're a bad ass cop. Logic dictates such cops do not arrest young women for shaking up multinationals, by the way. Your logic's five cents there. (Logic interjection, during conversation w/ Klaasje)
'
Five cents' seems out of place, especially since in other instances the proper '
two cents' is referred to.
There is very little wind here today. The ghost is standing still. You look at your arms, then the cliffs above you... (Shivers interjection, before getting in Lilienne's boat and travelling to the island)
Shivers being Shivers and often interjecting with a lot of out-of-context, weird descriptions (right after Inland Empire), I guess referring to '
cliffs above you' when there aren't any around in this particular moment is nothing out of the ordinary, but I thought I'd include it, just in case the writer(s) actually were going for something different here and just made a poor choice of words...
Looks like one would fit in there, yes. Although it's also surprisingly human -- in the golden light of that ancient bulb. (Description of the elevator to the old pinball workshop in the Whirling-In-Rags)
The elevator described as being '
surprisingly human' is... odd.
A remnant from what possibly was originally planned to describe something else, like the elevator also looking suitable for transporting people/humans?
Or something completely different, like the alternate text implies?:
Just about. If tilted precisely. For a small elevator this one is suprisingly nice. The ancient golden bulb gutters in the dark. Not even the legendary Fjördhæmmer managed to catch this lunatic. (From the description of "High Speed Love: The Tragic True Love Story of Jacob Irw and Alfie Deletraz" on the Shelf of Biographies in the bookstore)
Something off about the Fjördhæmmer - being a racetrack - not managing to '
catch' suicidal Jacob Irw.
I get what's supposed to be conveyed here, but, me personally, I don't feel like 'catch' being the right choice here.
- Not even the legendary Fjördhæmmer managed to claim (the life of) this lunatic.
or
- Not even the legendary Fjördhæmmer managed to take (the life of) this lunatic.
maybe would be more fitting here...
The abandoned church. One of two remaining stave churches which were collectively called les Sept Soeurs. The other six sisters were destroyed during the Revolution. (Shivers interjection on the coast)
Seven Sisters minus Two remaining stave churches = Five destroyed stave churches, so it should be:
The other
five sisters were destroyed during the Revolution.
The lieutenant hands you a blue checkered handkerchief. The lieutenant hands you a blue handkerchief. He takes off his glasses and uses a blue handkerchief to thoroughly wipe them clean before inspecting the sticker. Going by the handkerchief's artwork in the inventory, the description of it being '
blue' doesn't really do it justice.
It's actually '
white'/'
light grey' checkered, with only very faint hints of a very light blue in one of its corners.
Went with 'white' for my proof-read edit of the script.
The lieutenant isn't studying the powder in the mirror. He's studying you. (first time in Cuno's shack)
'
Powder in the mirror' again being a bit of an odd choice of words here. Especially since it's supposed to refer to one of the orbs' environmental descriptions in the shack, which reads:
'
A silver plate with traces of bone-yellow powder.'
So, instead it should be something more along the lines of:
The lieutenant isn't studying the
powder on the plate. He's studying you.
The normal dweorgr are a breed intelligent yet greedy industry who drink hard and do battle even harder. (From the Codex Urik)
Maybe something like:
The normal dweorgr are a breed intelligent yet
greedy and industrious who drink hard and do battle even harder.
is more fitting?
The track (From the description of "High Speed Love: The Tragic True Love Story of Jacob Irw and Alfie Deletraz" on the Shelf of Biographies in the bookstore)
Another case of a line not being finished(?).
Could be just a leftover which actually isn'T even used as well. Can't say for sure, since this particular book never became available in my playthroughs.
This is the Cindy Misters 'Piss' and 'Fuck' you had the armoured gloves. Play it cool now... (Reaction Speed interjection, when meeting Cindy the SKULL)
Clearly something's missing here.
Like a '
told' between ''Fuck'' and 'you', for instance:
This is the Cindy Misters 'Piss' and 'Fuck'
told you had the armoured gloves. Play it cool now...
Titus' posture is more relaxed than when you first met her. He is relieved that this Klaasje-business is finally over. (Physical Instrument interjection)
'when you first met
her' doesn't make sense here, should refer to Titus and therefore '
him' instead:
Titus' posture is more relaxed than when you first met
him.
Was there a out of this for you with success. Or was the rhetoric game rigged? I can't tell... (Rhetoric interjection, during conversation at the gates w/ Measurehead)
- Was there a
way out of this for you with success?
- Was there a
loophole out of this for you with success?
or something completely different?
You instinctively run your hand over your multi-patterned orange tie. (when first meeting Kim Kitsuragi)
Describing the tie with '
orange' would be alright if its artwork wouldn't be predominantly all kinds of blue and green instead.
Omitting 'orange':
You instinctively run your hand over your multi-patterned tie.
would be more in line with the artwork here.
There's snow gathering on his hair, whiter than the shirt that hangs loose over his slender frame. (during conversation w/ The Smoker on the Balcony)
Had reported this earlier (sometime last year), but the description of the Smoker's shirt as being '
white' still doesn't fit with the clearly
purple apparel on his in-game model.
https://i.imgur.com/abF76tv.jpg "It's no joke. I found the biggest land-invertebrate ever found. I discovered a new species." (during the final confrontation w/ Harry's old colleagues)
A minuscule one for last.
'I
found the biggest land-invertebrate ever
found.' with its 2x 'found' isn't very elegantly put together but might be deliberate and working as intended(?).