The Swashbuckler is not as good a melee fighter as a pure Fighter, but it is better at melee than the other Thief kits. If OP wants a thief (which was stated as a goal in the opening post), and does not care about backstabs, then Swashbuckler is the best thief for OP to use, because its only downside relative to other Thief kits does not apply to OP's play style. If OP wants to play a melee combatant and does not care about thief skills at all, then yes, a figher would be a better choice than a thief. That is not what OP requested.
The phrasing
you can die instantly is, in my opinion, confusing here, because any character can die instantly if hit hard enough while sufficiently low on hit points. Any melee character who wants to avoid instant death is obliged to always have enough hit points that a worst-case damage roll from the enemy will not exceed the character's health. Lack of
Protects against critical hits merely raises that threshold from the enemy's normal max damage to twice the enemy's normal max damage. Most people won't be meta-gaming enough to know exactly what the maximum damage threshold is, so in practice this just means keeping the character as healthy as possible.
You say that a high level fighter could dual-wield Flails and achieve 5 attacks per round. I assume from the lack of disclaimer that you think this rate would be sustained indefinitely, which rules out the use of Haste or similar temporary effects. How would you achieve 5 attacks per round indefinitely? As I understand it, you will get:
- 1 Main hand attack
- +1 Main hand attack for being a Fighter of level 13 or higher
- +1 Main hand attack for Grandmastery in your main weapon's type
- 1 Off-hand attack
That only gets you to 4 attacks. To get a fifth attack, one of the two hands needs to wield an APR-increasing weapon. I am only aware of 3 weapons which do that, and none of them are Flails. One of them is even restricted to Monks (and Thieves with Use Any Item).
https://baldursgate.fandom.com/wiki/Belm (Scimitar)
https://baldursgate.fandom.com/wiki/Kundane (Short sword)
https://baldursgate.fandom.com/wiki/Ninjat%C5%8D_of_the_Scarlet_Brotherhood (Scimitar; restricted to Monks)