It is a good way to be defeated! Very stylish.

Undead, Day 13

As we commence our invasion of the Elven lands, we find a camp of goblins just across the river. How fortunate that the elves chose to leave them alone, for together with a newly summoned boar they result in a doubling of our invasion force. I decide to scout a tunnel nearby to ensure there isn't an army ready to pop out, and its good that I did for I find the elves missing unicorn hiding in the tunnel itself. After killing it we regroup and prepare for the next stage of our conquest.

TS

Archons, Day 13

Nothing exciting to report. We're still spending an inordinate amount of time walking in circles and licking our wounds. I wish we'd get less of the annoying nicks and cuts during our circular adventures.

TS

Undead Day 14

Anyone here a Tolkien fan? Cause I just witnessed first hand The Rising of the Shire. Seriously, the defeats hurt (shouldn't have split my party) but the spectacle of so many halflings coming at me was almost worth it. I've never seen so many halfling level 1s gathered together in such an army. Awesome and hilarious at the same time.

But all this is secondary news. SECONDARY! For something has happened that I could never have anticipated. The most hilarious twist of fate you could possibly imagine. For now, I remember this map, and I actually think I played it back in the day, say 10 years ago maybe, maybe less, over on the Heavengames forums. I knew the mapmaker, or at least played with him on a bunch of maps. And he started making maps with custom heroes named after his fellow players.

I'll tell you, up until this turn I'd been pretty bummed about not getting a second hero. Well, my waiting paid off, for today I received an offer from a hero. And what might his name be, you might ask?

-Dramatic pause-

That's, right, King James Friggin' Ede himself!!!

Out of all the random heroes on this map, quite a few that bear the names of people I played against on Heavengames, the computer's random hero lottery gave me the one named after me. Perhaps this is a sign of favour from the gods, and my (probably ill-considered) war with the halflings, I mean elves, will end with my victory. Even if it doesn't, I can go to my second grave happy having had the privilege of hiring my namesake. I will even let him keep his royal title, though we all know who really rules this land. Not James Ede, but James Ede, I mean Lord Skeletor!

TfnS

PS, is it too late to ask for peace again? I think I've learned my lesson. Also, I checked the logs and Arnuz, you defeated a Springheel? Or someone did, I can't remember, but fun fact, he is named after the player who I played my very first PBEM with. Sigh, AoW nostalgia...

<Sorry about the lack of posting, I'm finding out that I actually have less time than usual when teleworking>

Galadriel, day 12

I must be smoking too much of these weeds, or maybe the ones grown in the dark valleys of the drow is toxic. During the night a lonely neutral drill has moved against our units that didn't even wander too close, killing three!! Including a priest who never managed to use his healing! With its super attack rate of 2, that's quite the feat.

Oh and of course there's the little matter of lord Skeletor, who after agreeing on peace on the condition of a scouting tower and receiving said tower declares war immediately. Not that I didn't see a war coming but this just sets the value of his word to the quantity of flesh on his cheekbones. I will try to remember what's the value of Lord Skeletor's word. Despite this good stuff that I can't but keep trying... Speaking of which, two halfling outposts join me on the cheap, probably scared by the hordes advancing. Given the situation I dish the gold and try some of the famed halfling pipe-weed...

Galadriel, day 13

To top our string of lucky events, an army of goblins complete with 2 heavies joins the undead hordes for free right on the boundary.

But Skeletor has decided to invade at maximum speed confident in his goblins. He's oblivious to the terrible menace lurking in the shadows of the shire... A beast that even dragons respect! It is nothing less than the legendary halfling appetite! Doesn't he know how hungry the average halfling becomes during winter? Suddenly, mobs of farmers armed with pitchforks and torches spring out of the bushes and go to work, screaming MEAT! First on the goblins who are thrown in a pitch and then the cavalry. Most farmers die but at the end they make it. And all the enemy mounts, horse beetle or boar - yummy! - end up in a great feast that will be remembered for a long time to come. Some say that some of the cavaliers fate was not dissimilar but we can't be bothered by these lowly insinuations, and besides, who are we to judge on the dietary habits of the friendly neighbours?

Galadriel, day 14

News from the undead lands! The king is dead, long live the king! Apparently the defeat by a horde of halflings was too much to bear. The new king offers peace but we can see another army approaching - with a hero and an orc warlord. We counter with a proposal for peace in return of the tower that was subtracted before, so that I may check if that warlord gang doesn't come too close to the border.

That was the hero that rebelled at 10% for being placed with an undead - look at the log, I get a raise for recruiting him then another one for defeating him straight away ^_^'

That is certifiably awesome. This game is already over and in the books. James Ede has won the lottery of life. :)

Archons, Day 14

I feel like I'm way behind my peers. Not really a peerage when some stand so much above others.

TS

Undead Day 15

Well, the shine of having James Ede on my team has already worn off. Probably as he almost instantly got himself injured and now needs to heal. What a baby this James Ede is!

Army with orc warlord? Hmmm, not sure where they're going. (Whistling innocently)

I'm sure its just to consolidate my lands and build up defenses for the coming tide of short-legged doom. Pitchforks and rocks, oh my!

TS

Bump.

You're busy posting new game queries, but um, this one is still awaiting the sending of your most recent turn I believe. :)

Nope, it was sent yesterday right before I posted, as usual. I can resend if Arnuz needs one.

Galadriel, day 15

A less eventful day, not that I complain! The orcs are wandering on the other side of the bridge shouting peace offers with angry faces. There must be some interpretation issue underlying our relation. Oh well, time to abuse some fine halfling herbs again.

I usually play at night, but I phone-poast all day long... Give me 24h before complaining :D

24 from when i receive. For example I haven't received it yet now - 8am, so it's probably another day gone, I'll probably receive it in 18h or so while asleep. Are you playing later than usual these days? If you play at a later time than James then we might be missing a day each turn, between you and him. Should we restart drums after all, placing you after? If this is only during covid, them probably no.

Undead Day 16

Well, I don't really see any hope for winning this game, so I'm just going treasure hunting. Who knows, maybe I'll discover some sort of massively overpowered item, like a Wand of Nuking, that will help me turn the tide. More than likely I'll just save the elves the trouble of collecting these items themselves. Sigh.

TS