Eath is Earth I hope

Granted, Earth is now a paradajs. (it reads the same as paradise, but it means tomato in my language) Uhm, bon apetit i guess.

I wish I knew how to make games.

Granted. Enjoy spending hours upon hours trying to find and fix inexplicable bugs.

I wish this semester was over.

I like simple ones...Granted, this semester is over, only 666 semesters to go.

I wish I knew how to make a fantastic wish that wont be possible to corrupt.

Granted, but you'll die the second you learn that.

I wish the world was a worse place to live so that I would actually seem like a good person.

Granted. Now the world is a worse place to live, for you and for everyone else.

I wish I didn't have class in an hour

Granted, a short-circuit just caused a fire in your school.

I wish humanity starts to colonize our solar system.

Granted. They meet aliens on Mars who feel threatened enough to destroy the earth.

I wish I could slow down time.

Granted. The power is irreversible. Have fun during sex.

Since the guy above killed the game...

Granted, but you did not undesrstand your new power so you stopped the timeeeeeeeeeee...

I wish we could live at least a 1000 years, while the years would be 3650 days long and days would be 240hours long and hours 600 minutes long and minutes 600 seconds long while the seconds would be as long as they are now and we would always be in the shape as we are always in our twenties.

Granted. You're also sentenced to lifelong prison.

I wish I could teleport everywhere I want to.

DAMN

Granted, but you teleported to my prison cell that has some kind of protection preventing you to teleport out.

I wish LucasArts went back into adventure making.

It seems, I'm always corrupting VIPERs wishes. It's not on purpose, it's just my timing ;-)
Granted. They will try a revival of text based adventure game (no graphics, no sound).
Oh, and before I forget, their first new game would be Episode 1

Anakin, you stand before your pod racer.
--> Enter cockpit
Anakin, you sit in the cockpit of your pod racer
--> Start pod
The engines howl
--> Race
Sebulba is faster than you
--> Race like hell
Your podracer explodes. Do you want to restart (Y/N)?


I wish, Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolution wouldn't be pieces of crap

(I like all 3)

Granted, they are now total crap and have been marked as the worst two movies of all times.

I wish I could clone myself so the clones can go to work and I can do something better.

Granted, but your clones soon will be tired being the only ones working and will rebel against you.

I wish to learn archery.

Granted, one of your arrows hit a Beehive. You're allergic to bee stings :(
I wish to be a vampire.