I grab some meager clothing from a nearby warehouse I spot nearby, along with a HEFTY BRASS KEY........not much else can be scavenged that isn't torn apart & eroded worse than Bill Clinton's face.

Walking ever further on I came upon yet another abandoned hovel, which appeared to be a gatehouse of some kind. Inside it appears empty and bereft of supplies of any sort, but from the previous encounters i'd had on this island I guess that was to be expected.

"At least nothing horrible has jumped out to tear my face off....yet", I mumbled to myself as I headed inside....finding a mechanism I assumed could be used to open the gate outside, locked with a heavy looking locking thingy.

*Try key in lock....it's ULTRA EFFECTIVE!*

As the gate outside groans open I head outside and look further inland, past the nearby structure. It looks invitingly tranquil, but knowing my luck so far there'd be a spike trap on the other side or something. Pondering this I threw a rock I picked up off the nearby ground past the now open gate, watching it smack upon the ground. Besides some birds being startled off the nearby foliage, nothing seemed amiss.

Checking the other guardhouse beyond the gate, I come upon a KNOYFE!

"Fuck yeah! Come at me now, monster bros!" I yell out as I run off making stabbing motions as I go.


Walking even more furtherer past the gatehouse brings me upon something wonderful....AN INN!

"What luck! I could use a pint of flagoned grog mead after all this" I thought to myself as I ran towards the structure.

No shaper completes their training before they get lost/shipwrecked/abandoned. You forgot to arm yourself with a stick.

Finally, it feels like you should be following Jeff's style of story telling. Either that or introducing the setting from scratch. (What's a shaper?)

I found this KNOYFE in a bush....will that work?

Also meh on setting up the story. Let people go wtf as they read. It'll be loads of laughs.

(Besides this is mainly to get a laugh out of those who've played or oddly peaked interest from those who haven't.)

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Chapter 2(Or Oh My God wtf is that?!?)

The Inn itself lay in abandoned shambles.....the firepit bereft of juicy legs of Ornk, and no juicy serving wenches anywhere to be found.

"Well sucks to be me, I guess. I better search for something to eat before I die of starvation."

Luckily I was able to find a few stale loaves of bred in a storeroom, and some better clothes, including a bitch-ass robe!

But wtf?!? All the bloody beds looked like someone had let their creations sleep AND relieve themselves upon them! Lucky for me, though, the owner's room seemed a bit better off. Laying down upon the only HALF moth eaten bed I tried to sleep awhile, stifling back both tears and laughter as the depression and insanity of it all started to set in.

$5 says you get eaten by a grue