Posted March 03, 2012
michaelleung: I've killed my roommate using a paperclip, some cellophane and nearly full box of dental floss and I need help disposing the body. Anyone with some murdering experience (or worked as an aide for Karl Rove, same thing) who can help? I don't have much in the way of tools, but I do have last week's issue of The Economist and a secondhand Fleshlight.
As far as your original problem is concerned, head down to Niagara Falls and set up an elaborate sketch about how you're trying to convince him not to commit suicide. Make sure lots of people see (not difficult), but not too closely (more difficult). Depending on the state of decomposition, you may need to cover him from head to foot, so pick a cold day. You might want to actually stage it below the falls, as it is more likely that they will never recover the body. The sketch ends, of course, with you making an heroic but ultimately unsuccessful attempt to save his life.