Rosa contracts 'bloaty head' disease (she drank unpurified rainwater and her body isn't used to it) and must be interned in my Theme Hospital. Geralt contracts 'Iron Lungs' while waiting outside the hospital (he can't handle smog) and thus must be interned also.

Well, I think I´ll join in. I´m thinking about dispatching the vampire with Humakt and his Death sword (remember Humakt the Champion heroquest ?) and then raid the whole place (the vault still I think) with the faithful weaponthanes and footmen of my clan aided by the terror inspiring Earthshakers. (Kodp)

Technically, you just raided my Theme Hospital and not the vault (the vault has already been trashed 15 hours ago) but it's ok, it turns out my hospital had no defensive capabilities and your raid was successful.
It sounds like your playing balanced clan which means that if you organized such a strong raiding party (Earthshakers and all), you're town has been left with inadequate defenses. I use my tanners from Stronghold 1 (I already used up Stronghold Crusader) to turn all your cows into leather armor. I also chop down all the trees around your dwelling and make crossbows out of them. Crossbowmen now man all my towers. Whatever food was found in your village is now in my granary and I'm ready for a siege.

edit: oh, and "The Keep is enclosed"

(Indeed, I did choose a balanced clan.) Oh wait, things are getting tougher ! I didn´t have a problem before in the game with inadequate defences, what shall I do ? (runs round in circles panicking for 10 minutes, then calms down again). I know ! I´m not sure whether I can use resources from the same game twice but anyways ; it seems that I´m now in possession of the Theme Hospital (although now it´s badly damaged from the Earthshakers) and you´re in possession of my tula. (Oh my...! My poor carls and cottars, I wonder if they find your governing better than the Pharaoh´s (no offense here, I just mean that I care about their well-being)). Well, I think I have an idea ; I gather my warriors and we try the Humakt heroquest so they can earn extra power for a possible upcoming conflict. Checking my inventory,however, I notice that we have a booty of lots of medicaments and viruses in vials, but nothing eatable - and certainly not cows. So, I decide to send a peace gift trying to make a negociation so that we exchange the tula and the hospital ; a device called Sampo, invented by William, a Finnish blacksmith (Driftmoon). This device is able to produce gold, grain and salt ("Who needs so much salt ?") and I do hope you´ll find a use for it. The device is accompanied by some of those clan ring members that took part in the raid and thus aren´t your prisoners. In the meanwhile,an Inquisitor is coming your way, as he has heard you worship a corrupted version of God, and he wants to make sure you aren´t heretics (It may be wartime but that doesn´t deter him)- and he carries with him some very persuasive medicines which he will use in case he finds that you have strayed from the "right path".Ah, I almost forgot- he´s a very powerful mage as well -I believe he ´ll be able to deflect arrows!

I trade a shivah card with awalterj. Let's see how the inquisitor deflects questions.

I gladly accept Telika's Shivah card and hand over a Darkfall journal card, hoping this to be a satisfactory trade.
The Shivah converts all my castle defenders to Judaism, it takes a while but because all my people are within the castle walls and the main gate was locked down, the Rabbi could reach and convert them all just in the nick of time before the inquisitor's arrival. The inquisitor stands at the gate and shakes his bags of herbs but once he realizes the Shivah is in charge now, the inquisitor realizes that religious combat will be futile.
My castle people arrogantly turn down the peace offering and the Sampo, trusting in the Stronghold's double crenulated walls. A big mistake: Because my people will only eat kosher food from now on, the contents of the granary have become useless.

As it stands, we have a heavily fortified castle manned with deeply faithful Jewish crossbowmen who can't be questioned or converted, however they have no food and without the Sampo, no means of magically creating any.
Popularity of the castle Lord is stable though because the malus from having no food is neutralized by having religion at 100% and having no taxes. Thus, morale is stable and the castle people won't revolt.

Bring on your next move. (please keep in mind that you can't use the Thief card to sneak in, double crenulated walls prevent any single character from climbing up the walls).

I´m sorry for not replying earlier, but I had real life obligations (and sleep) to attend to !
Well, as I was left with the Sampo, I decided to put it to some use; I made some grain for the soldiers to eat (in bread form) and gave some to the Earthshakers as well- who by the way, became now old and cannot be used in battle). The weaponthanes were pleased that we weren´t going to starve, but complained that they couldn´t eat bread the whole time and something needed to be done quickly to rescue our clan fellows in the stronghold. I decided to recruit some mercenaries with gold obtained from the Sampo (which I will mention if the time comes). At that time, the Inquisitor who had come back empty-handed contracted a disease from Theme Hospital´s noxious environment. At his deathbed, however, he confessed to a clan ring member beside him that he had admired the Jewish archer´s solid stance in regard to their new faith and asked to become a Jew before his death because of that- as he now saw that Judaism was probably the "right way". We complied to his wish and found a Torah and jewish garments from a dead Jew in Theme Hospital. We made all the vows in time for him to die peacefully. Afterwards, as we didn´t want to bury him with the wrong rituals, we had an idea; an envoy of clan ring members and soldiers (for protecting the corpse) came near your walls. A clan ring Issaries worshipper told your curious archers all the above as the reason for which we approached and asked for the right for the former Inquisitor and now Jew to be buried in the Jewish manner in your synagogue´s burial area. An orange-haired girl who looked as if she had just woken up from unconsciousness, claiming to be the Inquisitors niece, pleaded with us for this right.
-What are you going to do ? (please reply only this question, not presupposing my reaction to your answer).

The garrison is about to open the gates but is abruptly stopped by the Shivah. The Shivah says you are planning a Trojan infiltration because if the Inquisitor had truly converted, he would have requested to be buried right there and then where he died (Judaism requires a.s.a.p. burial if I understand correctly). Further more, since the Inquisitor's death was not a result of opponent action (I already lost the Theme Hospital card, it is no longer active), it is very well possible that the Inquisitor is just pretending to be dead.
The risk of facing off against the Kotdp card and a potentially active Inquisitor card -within- the Stronghold walls is too big, so your request is turned down and a volley of warning shots are fired over your heads.
Due to not being able to levy any taxes (people would revolt, since there is no food and morale is barely stabilized), I'm unable to gain more gold and therefor can't build knights for a sortie. The castle prepares for siege warfare, unfortunately I only have crossbowmen and no other units. Oh, and double crenulated walls, I love mentioning that :)

My active cards are still: The Shivah and Stronghold 1

Forgive me for defensive stalling, but there aren't many options here. Unless someone (anyone) comes to my aid.
This thread is open for everyone!

edit: other players can also come to the attackers aid and obliterate my defenses, anything goes here as long as you have the cards (= games on your GOG shelf.)

The castle was on complete lock down (no one in, no one out) and I specifically pointed out that walls in Stronghold can't be climbed by assassin's when you build double crenulated walls but apparently Altair found some way in.
After I loose Shivah, the defenders quickly lose their religion and without that bonus, down goes the castle lord's popularity. Eventually everyone has left and Altair doesn't even have to kill anyone else.
Stronghold card lost.

I call upon the Guardian to banish you to the world of Pagan where Altair has to do so much intrepid and insufferable platforming* that it is too much even for him. During one of those platforming sequences, Altair slips and falls into the water. Unlike the Avatar, Altair can swim but is immediately eaten by the Lurker who is always just in the exact right spot to open its jaws whenever anyone falls into the water anywhere in Pagan.

*the GOG version of Pagan is a patched version with easier platforming but I haven't played the patched version yet so I'm going by what I remember from the original release.

i call my deus ex to sneak into this game to say hi

Wrong :) He can't. And it's the lamest thing ever :D

(I'll play some card soon, have to think about it)
I send somebody with a Swapper device and exchange the soul with a lurker. In other words: I control the beast now :D Obviously you get nothing out of it because the lurker (its soul actually) is trapped in a human body without even realizing it. It feels that something is wrong and tries to hide. How? By jumping into the water of course. Human lungs are not capable to breath underwater so he just drowns... how sad ;)

What, Altair can really not swim? That is rather lame, yes. For crying out loud, even my party in Wizardry 7 could swim.
But even if he could swim I'd have no interest in trying any of the Assassin's Creeds, I mean look at the larpy costume, Garrett would shake his head at such nonsense.
Swapper card with mind swap....sounds like dangerous stuff, obviously it won't work if I send any regular hero against that.
I therefor pull the Amnesia card (freshly acquired, too!) and put you into that weird castle where you're alone and can swap minds with yourself for all I care. A mind which you are slowly losing due to the surrounding, I might add.

It's not that bad actually. Definitely not a great game but I had some fun playing it. It's more similar to Prince of Persia than Thief (and developed by the same company). I definitely prefer PoP though.

It was a good one!

I send a pack of my spooks from Ghost Master. I bet they will be delighted to see what your castle can offer. Actually I can see that they are creating their new base there right as we speak :D

Curses! You know I already played my Blackwell card and with my small deck, options for fighting ghosts and whatnot are dwindling. But I still have Master of Magic and cast 'dispel evil'. This will wrap not only your ghosts, but also the monsters roaming around the castle with holy flames, so two birds with one stone!

edit: I used a wrong spell, had to edit this post...I so confuse