Don't try to slow down that party. Car crashes are entertaining to watch. It's like life's people version of NASCAR. We can always feign sympathy later after the bruises heal.

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Because time changes people & new circumstances come along. That's the quick & easy answer. In my case, I've always had mental health (and physical health) issues, but then I got hit with another illness that's permanent. It changed who I am. The guy I was when I married my wife is dead, gone, he ain't coming back, I'm a different person now. I hated the changes in me to the point I couldn't even stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore, so I purposely changed my appearance by shaving off all my hair. I hate being reminded of what I once was & can no longer be. And my wife? She couldn't deal with the change either, she only pushed harder with a significant lack of sympathy for my condition. It's best for all of us that we split. I can't be what she needs to me be anymore.

Those situations came AFTER i was crushed by others, by a few years later too, NOT before. And i am gathering energy and inner power (sex is an occult power force if done right through certain exercises), while at the same time trying to live life quickly, with shortcuts, cheats and various cheap substitutes of what others robbed me off and destroyed from me, while i could have had those. I need any ounce of "energy" i can gather/amass and i need it quick, by whatever means necessary. I am at a checkmate and very soon it is going to be game over for me (permanently), if a miracle doesn't happen.

Suit yourself. At least i make sure my bruises, which could lead your average person to despair, irreparable shock or even suicide, truly heal. I can endure anything and everything this world throws at me and i am damn proud of my latent ability, too. Emotional transmutation is a very powerful ability to utilize and few people can achieve it. Glad to entertain, even if that wasn't my aim. Aggressiveness, hostility and anything negative directed at me, now, only strengthens my defenses and i even absorb part of the collision, to turn into my own fuel. Much appreciated. You entertained me too, in a sense.

You are hands down the weirdest motherfucker I have ever met.

Your mirror needs cleaning, son. But i like you. For just once more, no irony intended.

When TinyE utters those words to you, it is time to have a breather and take stock of your situation. Don't turn away from the multi-headed serpent that just erupted from the toilet bowl in your brain. It has mighty wisdom to dispense.

So....

I've got cancer.

I haven't quite told my wife as I'm not sure how to(so if you could not mention it on fb or steam I'd appreciate it)....I may start chemo and radiation therapy this week depending on how my Nero surgical appointment goes today.

It's in my spinal cord, it has grown 3 mm in less than 6 weeks, so the docs are fairly certain it is very aggressive. Because of where it is located they can not do a biopsy.

Ive decided to try to crowd fund some money for her as I don't want to leave her with massive debt.

Honestly I can't really decide if I want to skip the chemo and radiation and just try to enjoy what's left. Currently I can still walk and move my arms and the pain isn't too bad yet. I've got some sensory issues in my arms and legs. I'm kinda stuck as to what to do.... she knows something is going on but doesn't know the full extent of everything... I just worry because the moment people hear the term cancer they treat you different. ..

Anyway any advice would be great.

Thanks

Haven't seen you around here in a long while. Was hoping your return would be a triumphant one.

My advice? Tell her now. It'll suck but she needs to know. And she needs to make preparations maybe as much as you do.

PM headed your way. Best of luck to you.

I'm mad at Microsoft for forcing Windows 7 down my mother's throat. As my mother isn't very tech-savvy, I put the updates on automatic. When Windows 10 was offered, I marked the GWX update as hidden. However, MS put it on the recommended list, so on the 19th of December it came back (I know from the update log) and installed automatically. My mother was nagged by Windows wanting to upgrade and clicked 'later' apparently, but it kept nagging her. The day after Christmas Windows 10 was downloading to install itself. I deleted the _WindowsBT folder, deinstalled the notorious GWX update, used disc cleanup to clean clean system files->cleanup Update, removed the tick at Upgrade to Windows 10 and restarted - the tick is back. I looked for help by googling how to cancel a Windows 10 install and apparently I passed the point of no return - after each removal of the update and cancelling of the install, the Windows Update screen says "ready to install Windows 10", superimposed on any other updates.

I made a clean install of Windows, making use of the moment to get my mother a (legal) Dutch version instead of the (legal) English version that was on her PC before, so she can read the warnings better. Frustration didn't stop there, as after a clean install, Windows Update kept hanging and after much trying to troubleshoot it, I just left it running the whole night and in the morning at last the 152 critical updates were found and downloaded. The remaining 63 recommended and optional updates that I sifted through by hand to keep clean of Windows 10, took another half a day.

All in all I stayed at my parents a full day longer just to sort out computer problems.
Sorry, my problems are just a minor nuisance compared to the bad news you've got - and I suck at giving people advice, but I wish you much strength in the days, months and hopefully years to come.

Life is going wonderfully for me! I'm happy, comfortable, and well-adjusted with a secure future and boundless hope. I've known very few tragedies, and even those can be viewed in a more positive light if re-examined. I'm relatively financially secure and have time to do the things I enjoy most.
Why am I posting this here? Because I'm a rebel who cares naught about your little rules, that's why.

I agree with you. I have no idea why us young folks are repeatedly told to "respect elders" when most of them themselves are smug faced, welfare leeches who treat young people like trash.

What have they done that impacted my life in a positive way or made my life better ?

Sure they made roads and hospitals not because they wanted to but because they had to, it was part of their job. They did not do anything for us from the goodness of their hearts.

A lot of these old people are part of hippie generation with their drug filled orgies and weed parties and now they act like conservative Christians and judge other people for the most minor things.

Why don't you make your wishlist public?

Because a lot of old people think it is a great idea to brainwash young naive impressionable young people to think they should respect their elders for obvious reasons. :) These old people are devious manipulative toxic fuckers and like getting their butts kissed without having to earn it. And no, when I'm old enough to be considered an "elder", I won't take part in this even though getting my ass kissed without earning it, would be very enjoyable. I won't give in to the temptation. Of course, you should respect everyone up to a certain point but this idea young people should worship old people like they are Gods and Goddesses is wrong unless they have earned such respect. I mean, respecting someone like he is royalty simply for having some old ass wrinkly balls? monkeydelarge says "no" to this.

I'm having some very mixed feelings about this year coming to an end. It feels like it's passed by so quickly, yet so much has happened. Not all of it good, but that's life I guess. I'm still trying to make sense of it all, and hopefully next year will be one of further personal growth and perhaps a little more peace and appreciation. While I've travelled quite a long and winding road to get where I am now, I continue to have my doubts about where I want to go next. Taking it one day at a time sounds like a cliché, but I suppose that's all one really can do. People often tell me I worry too much, especially about things I don't have any control over. Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet and "feel the love".

Like The Beatles proclaimed; it's getting a little better all the time. And I also like to remind myself occasionally that "good enough", means just that. As long as I keep moving onward, things should continue to improve until I might just learn to be happy one day. After all, I'm only 25 years old - "just peeking around the corner", as someone told me recently. So much left to see and do in this life.

I hate to say it, because you've probably heard it more than enough by now, but Happy New Year to all. May we all have less to bitch about and more to feel good about in 2016.