Posted October 15, 2015
You may have read about my irregular sleep earlier, but if you haven't, the gist of it is that I've been so overworked and stressed by studies, work and personal commitments that the last time I slept two good nights in succession was eleven weeks ago. This has caused some very interesting physical and mental symptoms, including depression, lethargy, arrythmia, panic attacks and hallucinations, and I nearly got run over when I accidentally walked at a red light that I genuinely thought was green (and now I'm concerned that I'll do that again at some point). I'm going to see a doctor about this in a few days, so maybe that will sort things out somehow.
Still, the recent past feels like it's been failures all the way. I have been so stressed over my second school and my other responsibilities that my MA thesis for the first one has been going nowhere. Because graduating from the first school is a priority, I've basically dumped the second one altogether for now, so it will go around and come around - bam, a year's delay in there. However, I fear that the damage has already been done (too little sleep means there really isn't a time when I would have the congnitive capacity for thesis writing even if I've got the time now) and that I still won't graduate on time, which would be nothing short of a medium-term disaster.
Funny thing is, I feel anxious and down even though, in many respects, my life is going a hell of a lot better than it has in a long time. Probably better than it ever has, in fact.
Still, the recent past feels like it's been failures all the way. I have been so stressed over my second school and my other responsibilities that my MA thesis for the first one has been going nowhere. Because graduating from the first school is a priority, I've basically dumped the second one altogether for now, so it will go around and come around - bam, a year's delay in there. However, I fear that the damage has already been done (too little sleep means there really isn't a time when I would have the congnitive capacity for thesis writing even if I've got the time now) and that I still won't graduate on time, which would be nothing short of a medium-term disaster.
Funny thing is, I feel anxious and down even though, in many respects, my life is going a hell of a lot better than it has in a long time. Probably better than it ever has, in fact.