How about applying at a university of applied sciences(fachhochschulen)? If regular universities are too high level for you, maybe you would do better there. I am no computer scientist, so I don't know if this would make a difference.
Also, if programms with computer sciences are too challenging for you how about something that is more similar to what you did at school? Something like economics.
Have you also considered going more into the direction of arts or social sciences? Why not history, cultural studies, sociology or political science? I mean if you want to study, there must be a program that suits your interests and your skills.

Just to clarify, I do not mean to be a smartass, I am just trying to give you some ideas about what your options are. I really feel for(?) you, as I know how this uncertainty feels. At least I think that is what you are experiencing.

Computer sciences is something i have chosen just to have a second subject for my teaching degree. i've tried to get into biology but that subject is overcrowded and i had to choose something else. well, to cut a long story short, i panicked and could only choose between maths, physics and computer sciences. because those subjects are the ones, noone wants to study. so there are no restrictions or entry requirements for those. seriously. i've always been a complete failure in maths and got accepted into computer sciences, wtf. i meani'm slowing down the whole pre course. that course consists of people who have devoted their lives to that subject.

Ok I see. I did not realize that you want to become a teacher. I just thought you had applied for a regular bachelor program in computer science. without any teaching. I am really sorry about this. Is the situation the same at all universities? I mean that you don't get into the subjects you want. If not maybe moving to another city will make things easier, unless you do not have the funds to finance the increase in living expenses.

Anyway, I am going to shut up now, I do not know anything about your situation and I guess me just giving out some random advice won't help you at all.

I think I had a nervous breakdown yesterday in the evening. It was crazy. Today everything is fine again except that I keep thinking about yesterday and that I'm scared that it might happen again.

Hmmm... Were you alone? Were there other people there who also think you had a nervous breakdown?

If you think something's actually wrong, you know, see somebody who knows something about such things.

Hope you are well!

My girlfriend witnessed it. She was already asleep when it began. I went to bed almost instantly, hoping that I would fall asleep soon but of course I couldn't. I kept turning, sweating and breathing heavily, like in a panic attack (I think it actually was one), and woke her up in the process. I'm just glad she reacted rather calmly, although she did ask me whether she should call an ambulance the moment she woke up, apparently worried that I was suffocating or something. She certainly saw that it was pretty serious and was still worried today.

I couldn't fall asleep for three hours, I was overwhelmed by these incredibly pessimistic uncontrollable thoughts which were triggered by something extremely trivial. The whole day was actually pretty rough for no good reason, ridiculous stuff like a torn shoelace or a woman cutting in line at the grocery store seriously disturbed me and in the evening I ultimately just lost it over another minor thing. Crazy stuff.

I just kept hoping that everything would be okay the moment I wake up and incredibly enough it actually was. My mood was almost suspiciously good considering what happened the night before, ironically that's why I'm worried. "The harder they fall"...

I definitely would if something like that happened again. Anyway, thanks for caring.

And now I *really* need to go to bed if I'm going to get some sleep.

Sleep well.

You know, a thing to consider is just plain old stress. It doesn't have to be anything as scary as mental illness to be worth looking into.

Stress is real, and it can have all sorts of health impacts. The great news is that there's an awful lot of things within your control that can fight the bad effects of stress. Diet, excercise, habits of thought and speech, how you use your leisure time, the quality of the important relationships in your life... all these things are important when thinking about your overall health.

Anyway, don't be too scared. Just take care of yourself!

Cheers.

Hit my toe on the corner of a wall and the whole front nail part is all screwed up and shit... >:( GOD DAMN IT HURT!...

And my shitty job is pissing the F out of me... might head back to school and up my stuff to get a better one soon.

It's sad how fast people forget my giveaways .

Sorry to hear it, the math is one of the reasons I never took CompSci. 23 is still very young, don't fixate on it too much.

Yeah, I know. I'm pretty sure that it's just the circumstances that lead me into such a state. I'm hoping they will change soon.

The job's going down swinging, giving me a fuck of a lot of bother to deal with. Should've just told them that I'll work until the end of September rather than October, but what the hell, I was stupid.

I had to enter the mind of a libertarian.

Fucking hell. I need a shower now.

where your tears will blend into the water.

Yeah, we're monsters, heartless bastards who won't lift a finger to help anyone unless it's in our best interests.