Posted February 05, 2014
jamyskis: I'm fucked off with pretending that my life is going well, simply because other people don't want to hear how shit I feel and how I'm supposed to be grateful for everything in my life and how, if I don't like my life, I'm supposed to magically conjure up a new job and friends. I'm fucked off with people assuming that I have some kind of choice, that I have some kind of magic wand and that I can just go on and do a different degree or apprenticeship
I'm fucked off with not having the strength or willpower to assert myself, and I'm fucked off with being used by people from all sides as a result and ruining my life. I'm fucked off for having studied the wrong thing at university because everyone pushed me into studying it because "computers are a dead end".
I'm fucked off with being stuck in a dead-end freelance job where I'm paying over half of my income on tax, health insurance and rent/utilities for my office. I'm fucked off with spending 99% of my time in contact with people who see me either as some kind of whipping boy or as some kind of money tree.
I'm fucked off for having moved for my girlfriend's sake to Lübeck, a dead-end city with fuck-all in the way of job opportunities, and where everyone is so insulate that even after FOUR FUCKING YEARS, I still haven't been able to make any friends. Not that Lübeck is entirely to blame, as my work takes up 50-60 hours of my week anyway.
I'm fucked off that my job involves doing nothing creative or useful except make undeservedly rich people even richer, and doing that for a relative fucking pittance. I'm fucked off that the one field I loved working in has all but collapsed because Germany is so fucking anti-gaming.
I'm fucked off that my lifelong retreat/hobby - gaming - has turned into a commercialised cess-pool, and that my source of relaxation has turned into a ceaseless game of watch-your-back-or-else-you'll-get-ripped off. I'm fucked off that my main means of social contact nowadays - the net - seems to be full of nerdragers and fanboys, and that it's fucking impossible to have a sensible conversation with anyone.
But most of all, I'm fucked off that I feel so dead inside nowadays that I have no drive to do anything about the above, nor any belief that anything can be done about it.
[/rant]
Yeah, Lübeck sucks. That city is a great place to visit if you are a tourist but other than that, it's just a village with a horrible economy and an extremely cliquish mentality like all villages in Germany. You need to move to a city like Hamburg. It's never a good thing to listen to other people and live your life for other people because they simply don't know what is best for you and only care about themselves. People who concern themselves with others too much, always end up being miserable. Only jamyskis knows what is best for jamyskis. Sounds like you need to cut off a lot of people from your life and find a new hobby? One that hasn't been turned into a cess pool by corporations? Unfortunately, 99.9 percent of jobs out there, involves making rich people richer while getting peanuts in return. Laissez-faire capitalism doesn't work...I'm fucked off with not having the strength or willpower to assert myself, and I'm fucked off with being used by people from all sides as a result and ruining my life. I'm fucked off for having studied the wrong thing at university because everyone pushed me into studying it because "computers are a dead end".
I'm fucked off with being stuck in a dead-end freelance job where I'm paying over half of my income on tax, health insurance and rent/utilities for my office. I'm fucked off with spending 99% of my time in contact with people who see me either as some kind of whipping boy or as some kind of money tree.
I'm fucked off for having moved for my girlfriend's sake to Lübeck, a dead-end city with fuck-all in the way of job opportunities, and where everyone is so insulate that even after FOUR FUCKING YEARS, I still haven't been able to make any friends. Not that Lübeck is entirely to blame, as my work takes up 50-60 hours of my week anyway.
I'm fucked off that my job involves doing nothing creative or useful except make undeservedly rich people even richer, and doing that for a relative fucking pittance. I'm fucked off that the one field I loved working in has all but collapsed because Germany is so fucking anti-gaming.
I'm fucked off that my lifelong retreat/hobby - gaming - has turned into a commercialised cess-pool, and that my source of relaxation has turned into a ceaseless game of watch-your-back-or-else-you'll-get-ripped off. I'm fucked off that my main means of social contact nowadays - the net - seems to be full of nerdragers and fanboys, and that it's fucking impossible to have a sensible conversation with anyone.
But most of all, I'm fucked off that I feel so dead inside nowadays that I have no drive to do anything about the above, nor any belief that anything can be done about it.
[/rant]
Post edited February 05, 2014 by monkeydelarge