F4LL0UT: So, my Dad is at the hospital once again because his pancreas keeps acting up and the doctors have no idea what's causing it. Every couple of months, sometimes weeks, it gets inflamed. It isn't cancer and I thank God for that but still, the doctors are clueless. They've discovered that there's some anomaly that they could solve through surgery but they aren't sure that it will help and of course there's risks and now my parents have a day or two to decide whether he should go through a risky procedure where it's impossible to tell whether it will help (let me add that my parents live in Germany so please, no comments about uneducated stupid Polish doctors - especially from Polish users :P). Additionally stress seems to trigger the inflammation so everyone will have to be extremely careful during the holidays but well, let me say that the holidays are pretty much the most stressful time each year for our family and actually it's not even clear whether he'll be able to spend Christmas at home.
Additionally my grandmother (my Mom's mother) almost died yesterday. She's blind *and* stupid (also pure Evil) and insists on doing things she shouldn't like taking out the trash - so she fell down the stairs when she got lost in the building, bled a lot (from her head, no less), apparently she even broke something etc., it sounds worse than it is because now she's at my aunt's and in stable condition but well, I totally froze when my aunt called me today. Thank God the neighbor is a decent person. In Poland people seem to generally ignore any suspicious sounds, stay out of other people's stuff but she instantly checked when she heard the noise and instantly called an ambulance, if she hadn't done so my grandmother probably would have bled out. Now that thing happened and I can't even tell my Mom about it - my aunt told me that I shouldn't and she's right, as rough as things are lately we should probably wait before we tell her, the last thing I want to happen is for my Mom to get even more stressed out and careless when she's so busy taking care of my dad, getting the whole family to meet in a few days etc..
And then there's the thing - it was always clear that as soon as my aunt would take care of my grandmother I would move into her flat. It seems pretty clear now that after this my grandmother will stay at my aunt's place but that means that I will have to take over the other place earlier than expected which means that I'll have to take over the rent and I don't know how my girlfriend and I will handle that. Until we find someone to rent her apartment to we'd have to pay two full rents while using only one apartment. It's insane. Plus there's a chance that my Dad's illness will cost him his job, also my parents just bought a new car because their old one broke down etc. so I can't count on my parents' financial support for now. God, things are going to shit.
Hey man, I wish you and your family all the best, and especially luck! You can pull through, just don't give up :)
Soccorro: My Grandpa died. I don't know why I'm posting about it here. I still haven't realized he's dead. I still think, that when I visit him in the holidays, he'll be sitting there, complaining about technology and calling me names. Until he taps my shoulder to say how happy he is to see me. But I also kind of know, it will just be a fucking stone i'll be looking at. With this date of birth and death carved in. But what I hate the most right now is myself. Because It's like I don't care, I haven't cried, haven't even felt anything. I began shaking for no reason. It just happens out of nothing. It's not cold or anything it just happens.
My condolences - and don't worry, every person reacts differently when confronted with the death of a loved one.