My POS car is falling apart, literally. The whole car will shake when driving up even a slight incline, the transmission is likely close to being totally fucked, the inside panel on the driver's side door with all the door controls is falling off (To be frank I don't know what's got it still hanging there). Guess it's to be expected when the car has over 100k miles on it, but I've never harbored so much hate for a mechanical object before.

As far as life goes I've been surviving on microwave burritos and other cheap and extremely unhealthy foodstuffs so that I have money to pay rent and other bills. I'm lucky if I can get more than 7 hours of work a week at my job, which is basically just a dead-ender security job (long boring graveyard shifts, no hope of raise or better hours, complete with minimum wage!). The extra hours depend on whether or not a certain co-worker is going to abuse his seniority on a given week by trying to get out of working his shifts when he covers a weekend day shift for my supervisor. Sometimes he just decides flat out that he doesn't want to work. The sick part is that it's been going on for months (along with a few other absolutely ridiculous things he does, like leaving a mess in the work area and accidently taking the time card that 3 other employees have to share) and for whatever reason they continue to put up with his incompetence.

This has me looking for another dead-ender somewhere else, so hopefully I can at least get an interview somewhere... and maybe climb out of this rut. I should probably add that I've only been living on my own for a couple months (moved out at 18, 19 as of august), and live in a small town where little work can be found, especially the kind that actually pays. ($8.00/hr to be a cook at a restaurant around here)

To top everything off I'm having that whole "what do I want to do with my life" reevaluation/dilemma...

Certainly we all are getting something out of any relationship, but my focus is on loving someone meaning you stand by them through adversity and hardship. I just had a 4 year relationship end because she couldn't handle an issue I am facing, so it felt like a betrayal and like she never really loved me in the first place. Not the kind of love I am seeking anyway, which might not exist I guess.

You know what fuck it. I'm so beyond done it aint even funny anymore. I don't belong in the states, and now after I've turned down more then my fair share of job offers overseas I'm stuck here.....


Fuck this I'm out

Why don't you belong in the states?

So my ex is reading my bitching in this bitching thread and bitching about it, which caused me to bitch at her and now bitch in the bitching thread about her bitching about my bitching in the bitching thread. Bitchin'.

For the record my idea of love and partnership, which I thought we had, is that you face everything together and stand by each other when things are bad. "Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me," as a song by her favorite band says. She did not do this, she stood silent while I fell more and more ill and then when even her passive self was too annoyed to keep dealing with it she just dropped me like a rock. That is not my idea of love and facing things together, that is not my idea of a partnership. She seems to think that putting up with it silently is proof of her love, but honestly I think it is the opposite.

She did not fight for us, she gave up quicker than France in WW2.

So now I have finally discovered this illness and have to face a long hard road to get back to myself, and I am doing it alone because she dumped me at the same exact time. And I have to face the fact I didn't lose a partner when it happened, I never had one to begin with. And that hurts, so I am here bitching about it. On the internet, to relative strangers, which I swore I would never do again but am doing anyway because it's cathartic.

If you don't like these realities then stop reading my shit.

I know a little bit how you feel, although my own situation is/was hardly as bad as yours.

Random strangers can still hope thaty you get through whatever it is you're dealing with.

I got really sick once, my wife at the time told me she wished I would die. Some people will stick by, others, not so much.

EDIT: Btw, hang in there, I did get better, but I had to see a long list of doctors before one actually was able to successfully treat me.
So she's cyberstalking you, lol. Well, we may not think much of her based on your descriptions, but why should she care? She doesn't know us and will likely never meet us.

Been there, done that. Twice (both sides of the fence). Never a nice situation.

No one wants to be the baddie of the story, so I expect she too will register here soon to tell her side of the story, which is wholly understandable.

I guess the silver lining in all this is that then we will have a new GoG member who might buy many many wonderful GoG games. Welcome, and be sure to check the new D&D promo!

Hey, and she'll be single too! Woot!

...

ok, maybe that's a bit over the line -_-

This happened yesterday. Stupid things is stupid.

Yeah, and no matter what else I might say or think about her right now it's probably wrong of me to get on here and call her a villain. I regret that.

I'll try to keep my personal shit personal again now.

Of course it's wrong of you... she's a villainesse not a villain!
(Okay I know there's no female form for that noun, but there should be, because it makes my joke much funnier)

You might be glad to hear that there apparently is.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/villainess


...and to contribute to the topic: I have a cramp in my leg. It's really annoying.

I already see where this is going: she registers to the forum to defend her honor. She accidentally sees at all those wonderful GoG titles and promotions available here, and thinks "Hmmm, why not, maybe I'll buy one game while I'm here anyway, The Longest Journey looks interesting, a girlie-like game. But just one game, just one....".

Needless to say, it is a downward spiral from there on, more and more games needed every week, can't wait for the next promo weekend, skip school/work in order not to miss any 1-day promo... and before you know it, she will be begging GoG gifts from YOU!

The revenge is yours.

Hahaha... if she started playing old school PC games I would just want her back even more, so I don't think that would work.

After all the rage yesterday we had a very good "wait... why are we enemies?" talk last night. She said a lot of stuff I needed to hear and she really made me believe that circumstances caused our downfall, not a lack of love for each other. I feel much better today and like I really reached closure with her, as good an ending as is likely possible. So... that's awesome. Feelin' pumped for the next thing.

And you never know, maybe someday we'll talk again. Life is funny like that. For now though I am happy to just not hate her anymore, but to look back on our time as good time, at least most of it.

Anyway, thanks all for suffering my personal issue ramblings.

Today's bitch: I need to go work but my stomach hurts!