AlKim: I've largely lost my ability to wind down and relax over the past two or three years or so.
That would be all. Carry on.
Karterii1993: Are you just anxious all the time, or what's the problem?
As for my bitching, I can't hold conversations very well in real life, I always seem to have the last word in conversations... And knowing that I am a bad conversation partner, I have learned to stay quiet... But then, that also causes awkwardness because then people think I don't care for them. Societal game is tough.
It's being too busy all the time. Hell, it took me ages even to get back to you on this, and my original post was so short because I didn't have the time to write a more detailed one.
We recently moved house, and while it doesn't need a lot of work, there are a few things I need to take care of around here. One of our cats died a few months ago and we got two new ones to keep the survivor company, but of course it takes time until everyone's used to each other. I've got a full-time job to take care of nine to five, plus some entrepreneur work for evenings (and it's the hot season for the field, so I can't afford not to work). Our son is close to being born, so my wife's unable to much around the house and does less work than usual - which is completely alright, of course, but indirectly ups the pressure on me. I pretty much get up and start doing things at 7:30 and hardly stop at all until it's time to go to bed after midnight. It would be nice to read a book, play a game or just go for a run or something, but I can't seem to find the time anywhere and don't really have the energy anyway because I sleep and eat so poorly.
Having said that, things are a hell of a lot better than they were a year, two years and even three years ago. I know the kid's going to be one more thing to sink my limited time into, but I reckon it's still going to be easier once he's out since we'll be able to share workloads again, we'll pass the peak of Mt. Work, the cats will be better used to each other and the house has to be ready by then.