toxicTom: My advice would be "just do it". It's not like you have to show your code to anyone. Start with small things, tools you could use yourself. File serial renamer, games database...
Aye, same as I've gotten earlier. It's not bad advice, but without a proper project or focus feels so...
far out thought. Plus constant unpreparedness, which contributes to...
dtgreene: Maybe you're experiencing impostor syndrome?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome Kinda? But the thing is I genuinely don't have anything own made so far, despite learning on my free time. This is only regarding coding though; I am not that much of a loser otherwise.
Thing is, I never feel that I improved in coding in any major way, along with getting belted with rocks of hardship in unemployment. Tried to do something own? Friends helped by deleting code and rewriting it, moving my personal goal post. Internship? Promised and broken. Getting into uni to do my masters, grabbing balls and finally trying Node.JS again as WWW-programming course exercises need it? Can't get Vagrant work because of... didn't navigate properly in virtual server. And now those exercises are undone and lagging on my behalf.
Demotivation is helluva drug and when only thing given is "just do" feels so draining. All the time feels like I didn't try hard enough and without any positive result.
Anyway, thank you two for your words.