That had me laughing.

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wait, you mean this is you sober!? XD

Well that line was invalidated (at least in my opinion) next sentence, how I even know that doing more-more-ever-more won't help me. As said, it's just frustration.

However, as in first post I alluded, I am in better place and hopefully I'll get temporary solution which I hopefully can turn into a more permanent solution near future.

I'd love to travel or do something else, but lack of proper base (read: a job) it's a bit "hard" to do so though I got money to do so.

But, as I said in first post, it's not all doom-and-gloom. I'll hopefully get my temporary solution on the road so I can focus on doing bigger changes I want to go over with ASAP. Hence, there is hope but holy fuck am I demotivated nevertheless.

Thank you both from the answers lads. Appreciated.


EDIT: I wanted to add one thing: yes, I should not beat myself too much but I think I deserve some bashing due being unemployed for year and half now. The challenge itself is in not being too lenient or too harsh on myself; tough enough to get things done, soft enough not to threat with noose every time something doesn't work out!

I'm 42 but I never found a calling. Been an innkeeper the last twelve years, and a really good one, but that probably won't last too much longer.

It really gets to me when I look at the people I went to high school with, doctors, lawyers, congressmen, shit even an award winning actor. High school reunions are an obvious big NO NO. They'd probably think I was there to clean up after the event. :P When it really bothers me I just try to laugh it off and remind myself I'm not stuck in a fucking cubical nine hours a day. :D

1.I have no idea what you are talking about.2.Do not refer me to this again or defamation/slander charges will be investigated.

On second thought never mind. :P

If he is going to send Tauto to kill me let him try. What the hell is he gonna do? Whine me to death?
The whole thing is actually fucking hilarious. XD

I'd feel more scared if he said Yahoo Serious was coming to get me.

From what I've seen you posting here and there, it sounded like you were set up for long-term at your place. Maybe that's too personal a thing to ask, but in case you want to elaborate a bit, I'd be interested to know what change you are expecting as far as work situation/future job go.

Comparisons are just prone to make you unhappy (I catch myself making these too sometimes, just human nature I guess...) Reunions are always a bit weird for me as well, due to - perhaps similar to you - not having found a calling, but I then I'm not envious of the lives of former class mates; or else I would have pursued the exact same as they have.

Well my folks are both in their mid 70s. They obviously can't keep up this regiment for too long. The plan is, when god forbid they leave this planet, the B&B gets sold and I get an early retirement, but I'll probably still want to work. Of course, if Tauto comes and kills me it won't matter either way. :P

I really shouldn't bitch, I was just trying to make Palvikinkku feel a little better, and not so seemingly alone. There are far more depressing and embarrassing things than unemployment.

Sounds like an alright plan.

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They say drink lot's of water when you are hungover. Stay hydrated.

easier said than done when your stomach is doing cartwheels.

When I was a practicing alcoholic I managed to stop getting hangovers. The problem was when I dried up I had severe DTs for a week.

I dunno personally about the calling thing; there might be one or not but I don't trust myself enough to commit my entire life for one thing. Yes, it bit contradicts my current plans to get on the IT-web-development-field, but how I see it it's just next step before figuring out what next.

I don't try to compare myself to others, for they have problems different compared to mine. I am more angry to myself due a) not having the least done what I expect from myself and b) not doing anything at all.

Awh you're too kind. Yea, as said it's less about unemployment and more about not doing anything cool or out of ordinary.

I'm planning to move from this current city to my current dream city as soon as possible. That'd force me to rebuild myself again like what I did in 2013.

That's the dream. Re-invent Palvikinkku to version 2.0.

Wow. Sorry to hear that. But you are sober now, right? So that's good.
I am fairly sober, having realized that alcohol is the worst for me. Especially when I mix it with weed and anti-depressants. Back then, it got so bad I was smoking at work (everybody did), all day long. Cap it off with sleep deprivation. And I eventually ended up in the county psych ward twice and lost my wife because of it.
I still partake in the Mary Jane sometimes.