Granted, now you're half man half lizard........ with average lizard size.

I wish I can party like it's the 90s again.

Granted, but now everything in your house is turned into a 90's equivilent.

I wish for a steak pie.

Granted. Enjoy your delicious steak pie, made with the best meat of rats and snakes available in New Zealand!

I wish to have the look I want at any given time.

Granted, but everyone still reminds you as a Vulcan in tight blue shirt always, no matter how you've changed your appearance.

I wish I could eat any delicious meals without having my stomach upset.

Granted, you suffer severe rashes instead.

I wish to have enough money to make a living.

Granted, you win a lottery with record breaking prize money. But then you're busy spending your wealth, has forgotten to make a living.

I wish the temperature here would be cool as if inside a room with air conditioning.

Granted, cool as if inside a room with BROKEN air conditioning. BWHAHAHAHA!

I wish not be always as a smart ass as I am. ;)

Granted, now your ass is as big as Vida Guerra's and as smart as Bill Gates.

I wish I could make my own meals.

Granted, but you invariably burns every one of them...

I wish to rule the weather.

granted u can rule the weather once every 1000 year

i want to be able to eat trees

Granted, you're now a termite. Enjoy the wood!

I wish to have eidetic memory (photographic memory).

Granted, but tomorrow is the last day of your life.
I wish I can keep myself awake for the rest of my life, without side-effects.

Granted, you are now hated by humans, animals, and plants alike. You are considered as an evil deforester. You ruins the homes of some animals and their source of food. Plants hates you because you eat them!

Granted, but then you're missing how nice it is to have a nice sleep. Sadly, you can never sleep again, no matter what you've tried.

I wish I could uncorrupt some corrupted wishes.

Wish already granted.