Dammit. I forgot to say to be in the same form Bruce Lee was. You got me :) (I hope I was telied into a bunch of hot women.)
Granted, women don't have skin anymore, but clothes are covering their bodies. This means now that you have a bunch of clothes with some hair on top walking around.

I wish it was tomorrow already.

Granted.
Currently it's 12:30PM (UTC+1). You swap the next 24 hours and wake up tomorrow at 12:30 in a dirty hotel room. There is a tiger in the bathroom and somewhere a baby screams (anyone seen Hangover?)
Furthermore you are entirely naked and next to you in the bed, there lies a fat guy with a beard and you are not sure, whether or not you still have both of your kidneys.
So, what the hell happened the last 24 hours? You do not have the silghtest idea.

I wish I could buy a cheap picture of an unknown artist who will get famous in the next few years, increasing the value of my picture immeasurably.

Granted, but later it's stolen. You couldn't afford the security expenses to prevent it, neither the expenses to hire someone to get it back.

I wish the sources of Windows crashes were much easier to detect.

Gulp. I hope I was paid 20million pounds and that guy is Gabe Newell and I have pursuaded him to finally make Episode 3 and HL3.
Granted, they are now much easier to detect since Microsoft ventured into new things and is now making the worst windows (the things that you fit into your walls) which have a unique LED display that tells you why in hell your newly bought windows are broken in less then 24hours from your purchase.

I wish I required no damn sleep.

Granted. You are turned to stone. And to corrupt it even more: the guy from the fulfilment of your last wish will place you into his bedroom.

I wish, there weren't so many idiots on the road, when I'm driving my car (and no, I'm not one of them ;-))

Granted, the road is now full of geniuses, so full that you're always stuck in traffic jams.

I wish I could visit Mars someday.

Granted, but in the visit you will accidentally open a portal to hell.

I wish to be a werecat

granted - but you have to fill every silo in by hand with a shovel :(

I wish for a price reduction on Skyrim lol

Granted, but only if you buy 10 copies all at once.

I wish nobody in the world wished to break the record to be the richest man ever. They would wished to be the most generous person instead.

lol thats cruel :D

granted - but they give all donations in 1 cent pieces !!

I wish the majority of the world didn't hold money as the only thing important in life

The majority of the world now holds the genocide of their enemies as the only important thing in life. *ph34r*

I wish I can use apostrophes wherever I want to.

Granted. But you can't spell anything now.

I wish pop music didn't suck so much

Granted. but no-one likes the new "better" pop music and dubstep becomes the norm

i wish i had a more "normal" sleep pattern

Granted. The entire world now has a sleep pattern like yours, making it normal!

I wish I had 3 wishes