Hiya Miss Dee, my name is Kleetus and I'm a unisexual.

Granted, your eyes changed to use infrared. A mob, terrified by your bug eyes, smash you like a godless heathen communist from the 1950s.

I wish Donald Trump would stop being a troll and release his tax records already.

Granted, but the tax records are complete nonsense, with taxes being paid being negative some years and absurdly large (like in the quintillions of dollars) others. Also, in many cases, the math is clearly wrong, sometimes absurdly so.

I wish for a computer that can comfortably handle exact calculations with large numbers, including those much bigger than Graham's number. Furthermore, such computer must be of a reasnable size and must be able to do the calculations in a reasonable amount of time.

Wish granted, but only Shodan can pull it of. And the consequences are dire...

I wish my date tomorrow to be with a perfectly healthy, sane, NORMAL being that won't ruin my evening or make my psychology crap!

Granted, your date is with a perfectly healthy, sane, normal transgender woman. Congratulations on a wonderful date!

I wish for TES: Arena speedrunners would create a category that requires going through all the main quest dungeons, and, in particular, does not allow the parchment from the first main quest dungeon (or any other end-of-dungeon quest items) to be picked up more than once.

(The Any% run of TES: Arena just plays the same dungeon over and over, and is rather boring as a result; I am looking for a more interesting category.)

Pre-op or post-op?

I like the pre-op ones so you can beat them up afterwards.

Granted! A 100% run is launched! There's no fast travel in Arena, right? So 100% map completion is the new tedious.

I wish for a real gold doubloon.

Wish granted, but you trade it for some games in GOG list.

I wish to drink cola with tinyE together outside and enjoy a friendly conversation outside.

Granted, however, Mr e is a Homoerectus and the cola bubbles made him excited and he went on to sexually penetrate you.

I wish I was penetrating.

Granted, you were penetrating a brick wall with your drill.

I wish my laptop would perform 200 times better than its current performance.

Granted, but you now suck at using it 200 times more, making said laptop unusable.

No laptop for you.

I wish I was on top of laps.

Oh dear, your wish corruption failed for 2 reasons:

1. Arena actually has fast travel.

2. It is actually impossible to travel from one town to the next without fast travel, as the wilderness between them is actually infinite. Therefore, there is no way to complete the wilderness map, and that's in addition to the infinite number of "random" dungeons, including those accessed by a glitch (destroy the ground with a spell, then use another spell to create a wall over the hole). In other words, fast travel is *required*; there's no other way to get where you need to go. (This is unlike Daggerfall where it is, in theory, possible to walk from one town to the next.)

Redacted; I responded to the wrong post.

Granted, but now you have to fight by moonlight.

I wish that I had my own planet to rule over, with giant Amazonian women as my subjects.