Wish granted. You get prohibited from accessing that wonderful lolicon stuff, while everyone else gets double as bonus!

I wish people would appreciate the ninth art for what it is and respect the mangakas; no one is above the artist, after all...

Granted, except that said artist starts to abuse her power and becomes a tyrant. Also, the wish granter got the number wrong and applied it to the eighth art, not the ninth.

I wish there were more female speedrunners running games at GDQ events.

Oh there are females now alright. But of a different species (all primates) ... that gorilla one is giving you swell stares actually.

I wish I could escape forever into a cozy private universe.

Wish granted, but you have to pay taxes and they are pretty damn high, too.

I wish my enemies would be punished by justice for their other crimes (not those against me) or simply die off; outliving them while preserving youth is hard and pointless while they still draw breath, they keep tailing me and foiling each and every of my new moves, involving even authorities personnel. I would hate it if instead of having to rebuild my life and start a family, to have to resort to utilizing my latent knowledge and proficiency to end them, or theirs for personal revenge.

Granted, but it turns out that you are one of your own enemies and as a result, you are punished for your crimes.

I wish that every place with public restrooms had at least one gender-neutral one.

Wish granted, but no restroom cleaner ever does that particular one; all who use it must clean it, afterwards, much like the "do it yourself" army approach.

I wish i can buy games on gog once again, my wishlist is expanding and i already lost 2 sales from which i really wanted a couple of items.

Granted, but you must first convert your money to rubles first. (Why rubles? Who knows.)

I wish I could afford to buy Caitlyn Jenner's 1984 Olympic Torch. (It's up for auction and is expected to sell for over $20,000.)

Wish granted. You buy it only to realize it was a fake replica and the actual one can be found in your neighborhood's sex shop facade, underpriced too, as a "blowtorch".

I wish for hypocrisy to die and people get real sexual liberty and liberation, unrestricted by anything, especially religions and societal malice/jealousy/vengefulness.

Wish cannot be granted. Christians bathed in blood of innocents (both byzantines and catholics), erased from the face of the earth entire civilizations (america conquest), turned everything pleasurable and which had been before civilization hallmark into sin/sinful/punishable, vandalized priceless artifacts (like the statues in Rome or the ancient Greek temples like the Ephesus one), are miserable, spiteful, hypocrites and fakes. Hell, even my priest recorded my confession and used it on behalf of my enemies to get me in deeper sh*t than the one i had been already into, instead of "guiding" and "comforting" me; then i cut off ties permanently with them. Liars, murderers, betrayers and vandals; one word, BARBARIANS. All the judeochristian offshoots and abominations, are. And thieving scoundrels; they even stole the silkworm from china and are proud of it (even going so far as to dispute whether orthodox or catholics were the thieving monks), copied off the *rosario* from Buddhists and their *mala* (buddhism was 500 years before christ active as a religion) etc. Made in China, back then, meant INVENTED in china and stolen from christians.

I wish people would seek enlightenment and true ascension, far away from crooked mediators.

The witch in charge of your wish is a crooked mediator and is therefore unable to grant your wish. (Even if she weren't, there is still the problem that "enlightenment" and "true ascension" aren't unique concepts, just like the concept of "deity" is not unique either.)

I wish that people would not use masculine terms (like "boy", "son", and "sir") or pronouns (like "he", "him", "his") when referring to people whose gender is unknown.

All right; but due to a lack of consensus, the new gender-neutral pronoun becomes "it".

I wish this thread would lose some of the recent drama / politicalization / one-upsmanship and go back to being the fun, somewhat goofy diversion that it used to be.

SGDQ 2015 SPOILER (if you haven't seen the Swordless Link run)

Granted, but everyone loses interest and the topic dies.

Anyway, here is a wish that isn't related to politics or drama:

I wish that, in SGDQ 2015's Zelda 1 Swordless speedrun, that the player hadn't lost to Gannon.

Edit: I am going to make one requirement: your corruption of the wish must not involve the player not rescuing princess Zelda. Therefore, "he ended the run immediately on reaching Gannon" (which is actually done on non-marathon swordless runs) is not an acceptable corruption.

Edit 2: Actually, I've decided that any corruption is acceptable *except* one that end the run immediately on reaching Gannon.

Granted. Link suddenly developed Jedi mind powers and put a hurting on ole Ganondork without ever coming into range. but then the game disk exploded due to quantum universe shenanigans - and Link warped away as a real person into a different alternate dimension

I wish mosquitoes could be kept away (at will) from all our outdoor activities...and maybe pester only very evil people

Wish granted. But as since "most people have an innate disposition towards evil", as an old philosopher claimed once, they bite almost everyone.

I wish for a watermelon sorbet!