Granted. But seeking this weak being's blessing against robbers & other malevolent forces in the mountains irritates the real beings who could have truly blessed your life where you are now

I wish Calvin & Hobbes was a live comic strip again

Granted, but the comic strip now features different Hobbes - the Kilrathi from Wing Commander 3.

I wish I could have Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night on my GOG shelf now, with a countdown ticking to 2017/XX/XX.

Wish granted, but you still cannot play it...

I wish Salar Sushan wouldn't call the powerful Kami of Red Life a weak being; this is improportionate...

Granted. Now she says that reference is imaginary :)

I wish KIngBradley would quit using refs that have to be Googled before an answer can be crafted. He may not get the answer back he expected when someone has to guess based on those results :P

Granted, but the refs have to be Duck Duck Goed. (Duck Dock Go is a search engine that isn't Google.)

I wish that this wish will not be granted.

Ok. This wish is granted, because you asked it wouldn't be granted, so it is granted by not being granted. A fine wish wasted without reason...

I wish Salar Sushan would treat me to some delicious fruit from their orchard...

(Who's Salar Sushan?)

Granted, but that fruity treat will be ten kilograms of durians.

I wish there weren't so much fluorine in children's ice cream.

OK, but the amount of flourine was decreased so much that it underflowed and the ice cream is now 18446744073709551615% flourine. (By the way, that number wasn't just chosen randomly; it's one less than a power of 2.)

I wish that this wish doesn't get corrupted.

Granted, but you have to say it aloud.

I wish dtgreene gets corrupted.

Granted, but the user you named gets to choose how the corruption occurs.

I wish that Wizardry 9 gets made.

Granted, but it will be titled Big Wiz Racing and be developped by you know who.

I wish for cats to take over the world (well, to take more power than they already have).

(My... task is... done...) :D

Granted, but with the release cycle inching toward Final Fantasy 6.66, the world is slowly coming to an end, and the fantasy becomes final.

I wish for a babe, a stogie, and a bottle of Jack. And no more freaking aliens.

Wish granted; you get everything you describe, but the only source available is alien vendors...

I wish to finally cut ties with eurozone and become Putin pals.

Granted . but Putin is now a much closer pal than you really wanted. Oh dear

I wish the humidity level would drop - and stay down in the pleasant range for the rest of the summer