Well, I don't know the relationship, but generally you can't be responsible for someone else's dependence/co-dependence on you, unless of course they're really your child or ward. Ultimately his feelings are going to be his own regardless of what you do.
Wish we could grab tea/coffee/whiskey and chat, but alas, we are kinda 3000 miles apart. I wish you well as you go through it, and stay strong. Lots of us are happy to listen if you ever need an ear (errr...eye) to chat or just to vent Hugs!.
As for mafia stuff, the Mystery of Grace of God Hospital has been solved, and the next person in the queue is up. At least tentatively, I'd like to sign up on the hosting list again. Learned some good lessons from the first run, and I'm sure I'll ignore them entirely for the future.