Posted June 16, 2018
When I think of Duke Nukem the first thing that comes to mind is not his hilariously over the top manliness. Instead I remember a damned fine first person shooter. And that is what I want to see again from a Duke Nukem game. But the unique character I think makes for a possibly awesome way to reboot the series some day (not that I'd expect that too happen).
I can't remember who suggested it and by now I'm too lazy to look over all the posts, but I agree that an incredible idea for a Duke Nukem game would be one in which he is 'reformed' and becomes something like an accountant or insurance salesman in an office building, at least for a start to the game.
The game starts in first person mode with you having to go and make photo copies or something, all the while exchanging lame playful banter with your coworkers:
"Hey Duke, want to go and pick out some calculator covers from stationary?"
"Sure thing Terry, I'll meet you guys there, let me just hand in these PA-38 forms."
proceeded by you actually walking over to your boss and handing in the forms, and then actually going to stationary and picking out a cover!
There should be a really attractive female coworker walking about, but each time you try and look at her the camera pans away by itself. You can then fight with the camera to try and center the crosshair on her, resulting in Duke audibly protesting. She would then ask seductively "What's the matter Duke?" resulting in Duke turning around screaming and running towards the bathroom. In the bathroom duke then stands in front of the mirror splashing water on his face saying "Get it together man, that's not you anymore". Splashing water on his face being a QTE of course.
Then while you are in the bathroom there is an ungodly explosion which Duke responds to by cowering in the corner. Then he hears the scream of a coworker and, hands trembling, takes out a stapler from his pocket as a weapon as he goes out to investigate.
Outside he finds an alien invasion taking place (again!) with an alien trying to kidnap the female coworker from earlier, which you now have to attack to save. The first attack is simply throwing the stapler, and subsequent attacks consists of weakly trying to slap the alien going "Leave her alone you alien meanie!"
But at some point the alien gets annoyed with you and kicks you through several office dividers. As Duke struggles to get to his feet he sees the alien continued struggle with the coworker which is also now laughing at Duke for his pitiful attempt to stop it.
Then you see Duke's hands coming up to his face and going "No, no, nooo", proceeded by the screen turning red a la Bruce's first change into the Hulk in the 2003 film. And then Duke jumps up roaring "I said leave her alone you alien scumbag!" And then you get to beat the alien to a pulp with your bare hands!
And then the game actually starts.
But who am I kidding :P After Duke Nukem forever the series is now in stasis, and I'd expect it to remain in stasis for a very long time.
I can't remember who suggested it and by now I'm too lazy to look over all the posts, but I agree that an incredible idea for a Duke Nukem game would be one in which he is 'reformed' and becomes something like an accountant or insurance salesman in an office building, at least for a start to the game.
The game starts in first person mode with you having to go and make photo copies or something, all the while exchanging lame playful banter with your coworkers:
"Hey Duke, want to go and pick out some calculator covers from stationary?"
"Sure thing Terry, I'll meet you guys there, let me just hand in these PA-38 forms."
proceeded by you actually walking over to your boss and handing in the forms, and then actually going to stationary and picking out a cover!
There should be a really attractive female coworker walking about, but each time you try and look at her the camera pans away by itself. You can then fight with the camera to try and center the crosshair on her, resulting in Duke audibly protesting. She would then ask seductively "What's the matter Duke?" resulting in Duke turning around screaming and running towards the bathroom. In the bathroom duke then stands in front of the mirror splashing water on his face saying "Get it together man, that's not you anymore". Splashing water on his face being a QTE of course.
Then while you are in the bathroom there is an ungodly explosion which Duke responds to by cowering in the corner. Then he hears the scream of a coworker and, hands trembling, takes out a stapler from his pocket as a weapon as he goes out to investigate.
Outside he finds an alien invasion taking place (again!) with an alien trying to kidnap the female coworker from earlier, which you now have to attack to save. The first attack is simply throwing the stapler, and subsequent attacks consists of weakly trying to slap the alien going "Leave her alone you alien meanie!"
But at some point the alien gets annoyed with you and kicks you through several office dividers. As Duke struggles to get to his feet he sees the alien continued struggle with the coworker which is also now laughing at Duke for his pitiful attempt to stop it.
Then you see Duke's hands coming up to his face and going "No, no, nooo", proceeded by the screen turning red a la Bruce's first change into the Hulk in the 2003 film. And then Duke jumps up roaring "I said leave her alone you alien scumbag!" And then you get to beat the alien to a pulp with your bare hands!
And then the game actually starts.
But who am I kidding :P After Duke Nukem forever the series is now in stasis, and I'd expect it to remain in stasis for a very long time.