Fairfox: Yar, whenever I add calories I feel like I'm losing, though (going backwards), even though I know it's unhealthy to be too thin. I'm trying to do less elliptical and treadmill at the gym though, and gain muscle instead of just burning fat.
I could try to offer more suggestions, but I really don't want to unwittingly go the "it's so easy to fix, all you have to do is such-and-such" route. That shit's more than a little patronizing, I think.
In your position, I'd set a weight for myself, a low bar that I can't allow myself to go under, so as to avoid the whole hospitalization, I.V. fluid drips and general health-related clusterfuckery that could occur.
Haven't seen any instances of you being anything but a cool person. As such, I'd rather you not get massively damaged.
(Course, now that I reread this, I just did what I specifically said I didn't want to do.
My apologies for that. The urge to be helpful versus the reality of the situation.
Mental illness isn't that easy. It tends to not give a damn whether you're healthy or not at the end of the day, even when there's a part of you that knows it's going too far.)