After having my mother-in-law in hospitalized during xmas and my cat dying on me in February, things went downhill.
When my father-in-law collapsed and spent weeks and Easter in hospital that was bad. And on Thursday we got a diagnosis.
What everybody feared and nobody dared to speak: cancer.
Then Friday night (I can't even count in terms like "last night" etc because it's in the middle of the night again and I'm losing track) about 9:30 the girlfriend of my best friend was at our door panicking because he didn't answer phone calls or door bell and she couldn't get in because the key was sticking from the inside.
About ten we managed to break into his flat (scaringly easy) and... found him.
I can't get the sight out of my head (I won't describe it here). Nor the smell out of nostrils. It very probably was some kind of heart attack, tracking down calls he answered or not answered he had died Thursday in the late afternoon.
The ambulance we had called in panic was there real quick, but of course there was nothing they could do. Everything else after that took ages because most of the people involved were on stand-by duty and had to come from home in the middle of the night from long distances. We spent the whole night there in this place: his girlfriend, me, and in some sense my wife, alterating between our place (with the kids sleeping) and his (just across the street). The medics called the police. We had to answer questions and stuff. Then the police called the forensic doctor who couldn't find evidence of "unnatural death" but couldn't exclude it either so we had to wait for criminal investigation department. That was an elder lady inspector who also had a lots of questions. The girlfriend managed to call his parents. That was awful too - and they too had to answer questions onb the phone just having heard their son was dead... When that was through we had to wait for the mortician service to take away the body for storage and cooling until it's decided what happens next with it.
After that we were allowed to take the two cats from the place (my took one and the girlfriend the other, since we all already have cats). That was after 3 in the morning. I needed a drink and a thorough shower in hopes to shake of that smell and went to bed about 4, which not much success (at 5 I was awake 24 hours).
He was my best and dearest friend. I've known him for more than 20 years. He was the godfather of our children (who loved him) and a good friend of my wife too. He drank a little, smoked some was overweight, but none of that excessive. He was 39. Would have been 40 in June... we already had a present.
I couldn't cry yet, in fact I can't realize it really. But I have constant flashbacks of that terrible sight and the smell.
This (Saturday) afternoon I spent getting at least the cats a nice play to stay.
We (my wife and me) went to bed at 11, 1:30 in the night she woke me because she has a piercing pain in the chest. I called the emergency. It's not an acute heart attack but they've taken her away.
Now I'm here, the second sleepless night. Sick with worry and the kids sleeping. It's 2:30 now, I can call the hospital at 4:00 for first results.
Right now I really don't know how to go on.
