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hedwards: I used to have that, it sucks, and most of the professionals are incompetent. As far as I can tell, it's a memory disorder as much as anything else. The only times I have it coming back are when I'm having to really probe my memory or having to look over my shoulder to protect myself.

Unfortunately, getting appropriate treatment from competent professionals is essentially impossible as they'll blame everything on the condition rather than doing their fucking jobs.

Personally, I was very lucky. But, it took a shit ton of intestinal fortitude and faith that if I pretended like my delusions weren't real that they'd go away. Of course, I wound up realizing where the paranoia was coming from eventually, but whether or not it's justified, it still fucks with ones life.
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ShadowWalker56: My problems severe depression and hallucinations. For the most part I take my meds I'm okay. Fortunately I have a really good pdoc . But it's all still a bitch.
One of the problems with illnesses like that is there are so many different ways in which they can manifest and a good doctor makes a huge difference.

Hallucinations were what drove me nuts more than anything else. Even an awareness that they aren't real does little if they're so loud that you can't hear anything else that's going on.
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ShadowWalker56: My problems severe depression and hallucinations. For the most part I take my meds I'm okay. Fortunately I have a really good pdoc . But it's all still a bitch.
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hedwards: One of the problems with illnesses like that is there are so many different ways in which they can manifest and a good doctor makes a huge difference.

Hallucinations were what drove me nuts more than anything else. Even an awareness that they aren't real does little if they're so loud that you can't hear anything else that's going on.
OMG.. but what do you see with hallucinations?
People? Monsters? Are there good ones? :O
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hedwards: One of the problems with illnesses like that is there are so many different ways in which they can manifest and a good doctor makes a huge difference.

Hallucinations were what drove me nuts more than anything else. Even an awareness that they aren't real does little if they're so loud that you can't hear anything else that's going on.
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phaolo: OMG.. but what do you see with hallucinations?
People? Monsters? Are there good ones? :O
Usually music, but sometimes people talking. It's a real bitch because you can't listen to it, but they get rather loud if you don't. The best thing is to just ignore them as best you can and hope that they eventually go away.

On the plus side, I can now conjure up any sort of music I like and actually hear it as if it's real. Which is cool, but I always wind up with a migraine when I do.

For the most part, the condition is less of a problem than the intense bigotry and loneliness that comes from it. I was fortunate in that I was eventually able to find a path to controlling it. But, I do still have the occasional flare up.
Well, I'm 37. The entire world is run by insane lunatics, people can't drive worth a shit, everyone's afraid of their own shadow, we're all going to be invaded by Muslims (apparently), and movies and games kinda suck now. And out of all that, the only downside that caught me is a drinking problem... well, it's a hobby, not a problem. At 37 most of my friends are either dead, in prison, or are on welfare nursing drug addictions and multiple children to raise.

I'd consider myself pretty lucky.
I'm 31, but I can definitely relate...I wonder where the last 10 years have gone, and I certainly haven't achieved what I wanted. Scary how fast time passes...before you know it, you're getting old :-(((
I'm 38 and comfortable with my age. I certainly don't feel or act like I'd thought a 38 year old would behave when I was younger. I'm just happy I get to play video games when ever I want (except at work).
I got a Beer Jar with Homer Simpson saying that life begins when you are forty.
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phaolo: OMG.. but what do you see with hallucinations?
People? Monsters? Are there good ones? :O
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hedwards: Usually music, but sometimes people talking. It's a real bitch because you can't listen to it, but they get rather loud if you don't. The best thing is to just ignore them as best you can and hope that they eventually go away.

On the plus side, I can now conjure up any sort of music I like and actually hear it as if it's real. Which is cool, but I always wind up with a migraine when I do.

For the most part, the condition is less of a problem than the intense bigotry and loneliness that comes from it. I was fortunate in that I was eventually able to find a path to controlling it. But, I do still have the occasional flare up.
Incredible. Too bad for the migraine, however.. it would have been a cool free music player ;P
But is it basically an auditory system malfunction or a generic problem located who-knows-where?
Anyway, thanks for sharing and good thing that you managed to control it.
Me i'm 45 as of a week ago and have to say that i'm quite happy with where i'm at currently, have had my own company for 20 years and been independent since that time but previously mainly worked on a contract basis for a few well known developers and publishers back in the 80's & 90.

Most of these have sadly long gone and been eaten up by the corporate culture but i did work for EA at one time from 88 - 93 (yeah don't ask) had my first game released back in 1984 when i was still at school which was how quite a few of us started believe it or not but today i mainly help indie's and startup groups providing resources, help & advice and content where required which suits me fine as i can pick and choose what i work on. These years have taught me a great deal and nothing beats experience although as many of you have noticed the industry with social media etc things are never quite the same but from time to time you can be pleasantly surprised, now back to some coding for me but for everyone else just do something that you enjoy as life's far too short.

As for health well yes we all get things wrong with us as we get older and i'm no different there, only major thing i have is being diabetic so that's not too bad for being 45 !!
Post edited July 14, 2015 by Dean_Demon
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hedwards: One of the problems with illnesses like that is there are so many different ways in which they can manifest and a good doctor makes a huge difference.

Hallucinations were what drove me nuts more than anything else. Even an awareness that they aren't real does little if they're so loud that you can't hear anything else that's going on.
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phaolo: OMG.. but what do you see with hallucinations?
People? Monsters? Are there good ones? :O
Shadow people, voices, music. The shadow people and voices are the worst but the music is rather pleasant.
Post edited July 12, 2015 by ShadowWalker56
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Thanalis: So... turned 35 years old and not much to show for it. How many people have made it past this point and have come to terms with how it will end up?
I'm approaching the big 5-0 next year. A big deal psychologically; not so much physically. The cliché that you're only as old as you feel holds a lot more truth than you'd think.

And as far as for late bloomers go, you could always follow in the footsteps of people like Alan Rickman, Bruce Willis or Grandma Moses.
Post edited July 12, 2015 by TwoHandedSword
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Thanalis: So... turned 35 years old and not much to show for it. How many people have made it past this point and have come to terms with how it will end up?
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TwoHandedSword: I'm approaching the big 5-0 next year. A big deal psychologically; not so much physically. The cliché that you're only as old as you feel holds a lot more truth than you'd think.

And as far as for late bloomers go, you could always follow in the footsteps of people like Alan Rickman, Bruce Willis or Grandma Moses.
Fifties no big deal. Try going getting close to sixty. I was just 21 yesterday......where has all the time gone?
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ScotchMonkey: I'd recommend exercise to anyone in order to maintain a sense of happiness (and everything else that comes with exercise). Research shows that the less active are surprise less happy, no matter their particular place in life.
That doesn't prove exercise makes you happy, it might also mean less happy people tend to exercise less. With all those happy people exercising, I imagine they get much more joy out of exercise than I do. When I did exercises, I was always relieved when I stopped doing so and had more time and energy left for the things I do care about in life.

Also, when I ended exercising, it usually was for depression (caused by an overly busy schedule) kicking in when I had to go off to fitness or later running, it was the depression that had a negative effect on exercising, not the other way around (like what they say, exercising having a positive effect on depression). Most people are now who are happy with sports, don't feel happy sporting because they sport, but because they like sporting. If you don't like sports, it doesn't do shits for you, it just feels like another obligation dragging you down.

There were things I liked about sporting, but it wasn't the sports themselves, it was the peripherals. With fitnessing, I finished off the day with a cooking group. When the time of fitness was changed to an earlier time, so I couldn't follow it up with coocking and eating together, the joy was lost. With running, the fun was being in the woods. When the coach that normally took people into the woods went on to other work and the remaining coaches stayed on the boring running track, joy in running was lost as well: the joy was being in the woods, not the running. And I can have a far more enjoyable time in the woods walking, than running through it watching my pulse on the chronometer.
Post edited July 13, 2015 by DubConqueror
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tinyE: OT

What I can't figure out is monkey post something really sweet and friendly to me here and now, a half hour later, I'm getting crude mean spirited PMs from him.

Fucker is the embodiment of Jekyll & Hyde. :P
Wait which Monkey, cuz I didn't do shit!
Happy birthday!

"have come to terms with how it will end up?"

Um, well. I mean, I know generally how it will end, but not when or exactly how.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLctf4o6feQ